The Spoils of War (or Moving)

As if I hadn't done enough moving house. I've been doing it roughly once a year for the past three, but this promises to be the last for a good long while. It had better be, at any rate, because if I have to get in a car with a whole load of boxes one more time I'm going to snap and assume the foetal position while frothing at the mouth and gibbering quietly to myself.

They say that moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do, but that's mainly to do with the buying and selling process, as oppose to the carting around of furniture that may or not have a home (unless you employ Pickfords, of course, that'll always ramp up the stress). For me, however, I'm never really around in the buying and selling stage, just the furniture.

This coming weekend is going to be a fun one, me and my Dad have to get in a van on Friday for the TWELVE HOUR drive up to St. Andrews in Scotland from Newbury way down south. We then unload, get some sleep and drive back down about TWELVE HOURS. Then we load the van AGAIN and head for Southampton.

So I'm inheriting a whole bunch of ladder racks, odd shaped glasses, a few stuffed beagles and probably some kitchen stuff from this flat, which we haven't had for all that long. That was the point of the title, as it was, I'm getting stuff. Whoop. Spoils of Moving and all that jazz. Okay it wasn't a good title.

I should point out that this blog post has been co-authored by my mother, without her realising it. Credit where credit is due, after all.

So...

ROBIN HOOD.

I wasn't very excited about this movie. It kind of promised to be Gladiator 2, after it went about reuniting SIR Ridley Scott and Russel Crowe in a sword-tastic setting. This time it was, of course, Medieval England rather than Ancient Rome. Now, while I'm contractually obliged to go and see any film that SIR Ridley even thought about looking at, I thought that this film might actually be a step too far. After all, nobody really liked Kingdom of Heaven, since it was a film that was designed at the genetic level to appeal to me and only me.

Safe to say, I don't think of Robin Hood as Gladiator 2. This film is far more Kingdom of Heaven 2. In fact, I think it's actually Kingdom of Heaven 3, he hasn't got round to number 2 yet. Since K.o.H. covered Salah al-Din's conquering of Jerusalem and the defence of Balian, ending with Richard The Lionheart en-route to the Holy Land to kick some ass and take some names, Robin Hood opens with Richard on his way home and his death in France. Some of his rather more rogueish soldiers make a break for it and head back to England in someone else's clothes.

Now, after this we have a somewhat complicated view of Medieval English politics (with a storming portrayal of Elanor of Acquitaine), a sub-plot about the Magna Carter and a sneak invasion by the ol' enemy, France.

All in all, this is quite a muddled film with too many elements all competing for attention, all the while having this guy called Robin wanderng around, WHO ISN'T ROBIN HOOD. This isn't a film about Robin Hood, it's a film before Robin Hood.

What I did love about this film were the actors, the portrayal of historical characters and the overall *feel* of it. This is a film that I, personally, have been waiting for for what feels like a long time. The history is incorrect in most places, but the soul of it is correct. No, there wasn't a French invasion at that time, but it fits the mood of it and Philip of France is a great character. No, Richard wasn't trying to get back to England, he lived full time in France and spoke no English at all, but Danny Huston was bloody good as the tired and worn down king. Man of the movie is split between Kevin 'I have no need of this horse!' Durand's Little John and the villianous Mark Strong. Max von Sydow, as always, grabs your attention, holds it by the neck and *makes* you respect him while Crowe and Blanchett do okay and Oscar Isaac's King John is simply frog-bitingly wonderful.

So moments of greatness swamped by myriad sub-plots, basically. Don't go in expecting a film about Robin Hood, because you won't get it. It seems that SIR Ridley has a thing about the Lionheart and the Third Crusade... so I know who to send my 'Servants of God' script off to when it's done...

Next Time: PRINCE OF PERSIA