Making Up The Numbers

So yes, this blog post is pretty much just to make up them numbers, the ones I spoke about at the beginning of the month. At the moment I'm sitting around at home, with my brother sort-of living with me and sort-of not. All I'm really doing is tapping away at various writing projects and watching copius amounts of Stargate (I'm on about 8 episodes per day, which is just over 7 solid hours). Let the fun times roll.

The main thing that should actually be concerning me is hunting for a second housemate. My flat has 3 bedrooms and I only live in 1 of them, so I rent out the other 2 to make enough cash to cover the bills and all that. At the moment, the legend himself, Mr. Anthony Burtenshaw, will be living in one of them, while I'm looking for someone to fill the third. I was hoping to have someone by Sept. 1st, but that might not be an option at the moment. Might have to be closer to term time.

I only rent to students while I am one myself, since it keeps all the issues of Council Tax being not my problem. As of the year after... well, not sure where I'm even living, so I'll figure it out when I get there.

Other than that, nothing much to say, so I shall get on with talking about a movie I never thought I'd see. Actually I didn't think I'd see any films in August, but in the last five days I've seen the required three.

So...

PIRANHA (3D).

Yep. I know what you're thinking. Al, you're a pretend professional reviewer with decent artistic tastes, what are you doing talking about a gimmicky B-movie? Well, I'll tell you, person who doesn't exist, I liked it.

Now, I DESPISE 3D as the massive attempt at getting people back into cinema gimmick that it truly is, I dislike how I now have to strain my eyes to watch films that would have been just as good otherwise and I don't like the glasses.

And as for B-movies? Well, what's wrong with B-movies? There are good ones and bad ones, the bad ones are those that try to take themselves too seriously, the good ones are the ones that are here to kick back, crack open a cold one and point at the tits and gore. Oh yes, this has tits and gore. By the bucketload (don't try and picture a bucketload of tits, I know I just did and it wasn't a very good image).

In this film, an underwater lake full of cannibalistic, prehistoric Piranha are released due to a freak earthquake quickly set about eating nearby people. Oh, and just down the river is Spring Break with horny, idiotic teenagers. Now tell me that isn't a match made in some kind of sick, twisted heaven. Man, did I love me some of that! So yeah, tits, gore, Kelly Brook, carniverous mutant fish and Christopher frickin' Lloyd.

Does it get much more fun?

(Although the shot with Jerry O'Connel's schlong may have been a bit much...)

Naturally, the 3D doesn't add anything to this movie, but it doesn't detract from it in the same way that it did for Clash of the Titans, so I guess I don't mind it so much. The other main problem is that the film feels like it's only 2 Acts long, sort of bypassing the natural 3 Act structure (not the first time recenetly, either). It's not short, by any means, nor is it too long, but I felt there was more that they could have done in the time alloted to give it a more rounded feel, but they had enough tits and gore by that point, so it was all good. And since they're blatantly planning on making another one, I'm cool with it.

Watch it. It's fun.

Next up: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.