Weekly My Posterier

So I think I mentioned something about doing this thing weekly a while back. That can sod off! So here I am, at half four in the morning, sitting around and typing with a blocked nose and a mildly burning hatred for the rest of humanity. Not entirely sure why for this time, but it's there. It can't be denied.

Anyway, Uni's just around the corner, my brother has finally made his way back to Bath, not that it was any trouble having him with me. It was his 24th Ageing day on this sunday just gone, so I got him Season 1 of 24, because I'm annoying like that. There was much Guiness consumed on that day by people other than me, I tell you.

In other news... sod it, I don't know, the moon exploded? Actually that'd be kinda cool, might have to use that for a story somewhere down the line. Is there anything that we can mine on the moon? Like moon-ore or something? Now I'm just talking crap, but I feel like I should say something while I'm here. Even if it is crap.

Talking of crap, it was in fact Marsh that reminded me to post, in fact I think he reads this thing regularly. Which is shocking. And more shocking.

(and now for a short break)

And by short I mean several days. The time of writing is actually now the 19th, even though when this thing gets posted it'll be the 16th or something.

Not entirely sure why it's taken me this long to write a sodding blog entry, but have been very unmotivated of late. I think it's this New Order, as I said in my last post on the 1st. All this fruit and exercise and breakfast and all that crap... I don't know if it's actually working and at the same time I'm feeling a bit... well... crappy.

However, I swore I'd stick to it for six months, so come the 1st of March I am kicking back, ordering pizza and saying 'FUCK YOU' to the idea of exercise. Unless it's worked and I've lost some weight or feel better about myself or some crap like that, in which case I'll just have the one pizza, then get on with it all over again. Eugh, the thought itself is tiring.

Much like:

THE EXPENDABLES.

Seriously, Stallone? THIS is what you came up with? You had a crew of a dozen of the movie industry's most belov'd action stars, you had the backing to do virtually whatever you wanted and we get... THIS.

You may not have noted just how much scorn I poured into that last paragraph, but I assure you that it was a LOT. Man, did this movie suck. And I just don't mean 'it wasn't very good', this movie SUCKED.

There was too much story, for a start. Action meathead movies like this don't need much in the way of stories, in fact they tend to get in the way of all the fun, and this one had a particularly LAME story to start with, so we won't get into that. The main culprit for making this movie as terrible as it was, is Stallone himself, who proudly claimed the Director credit. Funny, watching the movie as I did, I'm not sure there was a Director present at any time. The shots are awful, the camera work is below sub-par and the pace and cutting of the (many) actions scenes is ridiculously poor. I mean, this guy is supposed to have been making action movies for decades, so WHY is this one so TERRIBLE!?!?

Getting roughly eight or so leading men in for the movie was a pretty poor idea as well, the whole thing feels smeared out and thin, what with the small irritating back stories for half of them, but nothing for the other half. What was Terry Crewes' story? Apart from having an awesome shotgun (which was incidently the star of this movie, that damned shotgun)? Why should we give a crap about that crazy South American Dictator (who might as well have 'Stereotype' printed on his face)? Dolph was probably the best character in the movie as a heroin addict... but we didn't see him doing any fucking heroin!! What was with Jet Li's 'I'm shorter than everyone else' bullshit?

Basically, I'm sure I could go on and on about all the tiny little things that pissed me off no end about this pitiful excuse for a movie, but the idea tires me. There are virtually no redeeming features to this film, not even Mickey Rourke, or the much over-hyped scene of Arnie, Stallone and Willis in the same room, it's all just DIRE. And more DIRE.

Avoid it, because it certainly doesn't desrve to exist. I think I may be a bit overly harsh on this movie, but it's justified to me in my own mind. Basically, I expected something more from these guys, something fun and enjoyable, if a bit dumb. All we got was dumb. This movie is pretty much a betrayal of 80's action junk movies and I can't believe they're making more.

No justice.

Next up: Resident Evil: Afterlife