Fairness and Seriousness

How seriously do we take life? I just spent the last four and a half hours playing Lord of the Rings Risk, ending at around 5am, instead of having a massively required business meeting, with my work starting at 1:15 tomorrow. That doesn't even give me 8 hours sleep, let alone the chance to actually do some of that meeting in the morning. Why do we do this to ourselves? How serious can this attempt at setting up our own business be?

Do I even want to do it?

I mean, everyone wants me to, because it's exciting for them. It's not exciting for me. It's fucking terrifying for me. Everyone says that I must be excited, right? No, I'm not. I'm dreading it, I have no confidence and I'm seriously considering quitting before I've even got it started. I'm not the person for this. I'm not cut out for this. I'm not even sure I want it to go ahead, even for the other two guys in my group's sake.

Is that very fair of me?

Of course it isn't. But I'll do my best to stick it out, because as Moina keeps pointing out, there's no such thing as fair and nobody gets what they deserve.

Which is just somewhat depressing in itself, since I'm really rather down at the moment about the whole woman thing. I genuinely feel like she got me addicted and then took away my supply, and I can't seem to find any other supply nearby. Yes, that means that I simply don't know what to do after not having a girlfriend for a month, despite the fact I was single for seven years before we got together.

And I kinda resent that.

I want to go back to being that lazy student who didn't really take anything seriously, only needed to work 10 hours a week and spent my entire time playing games and watching films.

It's not fair that we just can't take life seriously all the time. It's not fair that we just can't be the people other people want us to be all of the time. It's just... not fair.

WAR HORSE.

Beautiful. Poignant. Loved it. Not sure how it'll do at the Oscars but who really cares.

Was it just me or did Devon circa-1913 really feel remeniscent of Hobbiton?

Next up: THE ARTIST