My other writing project, which I'm doing parrallel to Imperia, is called Resistance. It's a set of TV series scripts for a show about super-heroes in a post apocalyptic future. Now to me, that's exactly what I want to be seeing on television. I know that it ticks a couple of boxes for many of my friends as well, hence why I'm cracking through it with such gusto.
At time of typing this blog entry, I'm a few lines away from finishing the last episode of the second season of Resistance. Each episode is forty-two pages long (making an episode roughly forty-two minutes), each season is thirteen episodes, meaning that since I started back in February, I've produced one thousand and ninety two pages of this series. That's a fair amount.
My central superheroes are:
Stonewall - An Earth Elemental with great strength and the ability to manipulate the earth and stone around him. He takes on the leadership role of the team.
Rush - An Air Elemental who has similiar powers to Stonewall, but based around air. She's the only one who can fly. Acts as Stonewall's surrogate daughter.
Maelstrom - A freak accident has invested her with a constantly moving air wave, resulting in hurricanes if she loses control. Emotionally unstable, a British Exile.
Regiment - A Russian Genetic Weapon, a soldier who can multiply himself and act as a small army by himself. Deserted his post but remains loyal in his heart.
Network - A martial arts expert who uses a super-computer and a chemical in the water to take control of people's minds and bodies. Morally ambiguous, also rich.
They're a fractous team that didn't even properly assemble until the end of the first season. They've faced greedy businessmen with their own armies, giant telepathic crystals from space, enemy settlements and a great deal of wandering supers who either want to kill them or steal their stuff.
Pretty standard, really.
The setting is a city called Resistance, built not far from the Great Lakes. In this world, the Divided Russians and Britain are the super-powers that are in a state of conflict over the remains of what was once America. Freaks and monsters prowl the wastes and Transtates (people with super-powers) aren't trusted at all.
It's the kind of series I would watch, and there's no other reason as to why I'm writing it, really. It wouldn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of ever getting made, but it entertains my friends and myself, so I can't really ask any more of it, can I? Got three more seasons of it planned as well, all to be done next year.
THE AWAKENING.
Now, as British films go, I was incredibly impressed with the style and presentation of this movie. The Brits, we love a period piece and to see something set post-WW1 with ghosts was a treat. This was a very well put together film with some excellent pacing and some good acting.
Ever since he got back from that over-hyped borefest The Wire, Dominic West has been doing some really great work, exercising those distinctive dimples to the max. In this film he plays a war veteran turned boarding school teacher who tracks down a professional Ghost Disprover.
The reason why? His school has a ghost, so it would seem, and he wants her to deal with it. Rebecca Hall (who is just gorgeous, by the way) is she, and she promptly sets about looking for the 'ghost', eager to prove that no such thing exists. The only problem is that she's starting to see the very things that she normally does her best to discredit.
I very much enjoyed this film, but there were a number of points that I felt stuck out. Firstly, it felt very close to Spanish film 'The Orphanage'. I'd say that the Orphanage is a notch above this, but they are incredibly similiar in theme and tone. Secondly, I felt that the ending and explanation was very neatly wrapped up in a bow, perhaps a little too neatly.
These are minor complaints, however, and overall I'd heartily recommend this film as a chilling and intelligent ghost story.
Tomorrow Morning: Tin-frickin-Tin
Tuesday, 27 December 2011
Imperia
Decided that for this post I want to talk about my current writing project (since I'm gonna try and get it published in January). Imperia is a project that came out of the blue a short while ago, inspired by seeing a trailer for Total War: Napoleon. Always found Napoleon Bonaparte to be one of the most fascinating of historical characters (mainly 'cause of Sharpe...), so I started to think what would have happened if he'd won, if he'd achieved the empire that he'd dreamed of. So that's what Imperia is, it's the legacy of Napoleon.
The story goes that in 1799, a young British officer is killed during a night attack on the Indian fortress of Seringapatam by a stray bullet. Thus, that young officer never became the Duke of Wellington, thus the rest of Europe became easy meat for Bonaparte, who was only matched by Wellington. He conqured Spain, Britain, Germany, Poland, Italy, Egypt, Greece, then went on into Russia. He died campaigning in China in 1832. The super-nation that he left behind was Imperia, the largest nation on the face of the Earth.
Of course, it's not just an alternate history in my story, I wanted to put in as many pulp sci-fi elements that I could. Being alternate history is pulpy in itself, but there's a whole lot more. Namely an alien scavenger fleet from a race called the Kahin, the horrific Phenomenon that spreads through pain and the Church-sanctioned Heaven Men, all playing a part.
The story will start at the beginning of the Second World War, but it'll be a very different War to the one we've read about in the history books. The idea will be that most of the short stories (it takes the form of a collection of shorts all based around the same subject) will be an event from the actual WW2, then altered to fit the new history. The best example I can give is the Miracle of Dunkirk will be come known instead as the Massacre of Dunkerque, because events there went very, very differently. The rest I'll research as I go along with it. Naturally, a fair few will be made up to fit with the various supernatural or sci-fi elements that the whole series is about in the first place.
So yeah... WW2 with aliens, werewolves, laser guns, super-heroes and a whole bunch of different country names. It's also lacking one major thing... Nazis.
I should also mention that at the moment I am very much enjoying the work of Madam KT Tunstall, who is very good to write to. On with the film review then.
THE IDES OF MARCH
By the time I saw this film, this was the 3rd movie I'd actually had to pay to see this year, the other two being massive disappointments (Green Lantern and Conan the Barbarian). This one made them worth it. Ides is a slick, smooth, dark political thriller about intelligence, sex and corruption, the corner stones of American politics. Damn you George Clooney, you're a real triple threat now (actor, director, writer).
We follow young Stephen (played by Ryan Gosling, who's on something of a streak at the moment), a Junior Campaign Manager for Mike Morris (George Clooney), who is running for President. When he becomes involved with a blonde intern, the idealism of his politics is utterly shaken as he finds that his hero, Morris, is not as squeaky clean as he'd thought. At first he seems to be dragged into this seedy world, then he jumps in.
This film is about how far a working man will go for his job, I think. He's good at his job, he wants to do it and he wants to be the best at is, so therefore he will sacrifice anything and anyone to get there. My friend Kerry said that he found the ending anti-climactic because 'it's what anyone would have done', he said. I'm not sure I agree with that, since not many of us are in the same position. I think if faced with that situation, I'm not sure most of us would have been as ruthless as Stephen found himself to be. I know that I probably wouldn't have been.
Any film that makes you question if you could do the same... well, that's all it has to do to impress me. This was a well written, well acted, very tragic story about personal collapse and re-emergance. I highly recommend.
Later today: THE AWAKENING
The story goes that in 1799, a young British officer is killed during a night attack on the Indian fortress of Seringapatam by a stray bullet. Thus, that young officer never became the Duke of Wellington, thus the rest of Europe became easy meat for Bonaparte, who was only matched by Wellington. He conqured Spain, Britain, Germany, Poland, Italy, Egypt, Greece, then went on into Russia. He died campaigning in China in 1832. The super-nation that he left behind was Imperia, the largest nation on the face of the Earth.
Of course, it's not just an alternate history in my story, I wanted to put in as many pulp sci-fi elements that I could. Being alternate history is pulpy in itself, but there's a whole lot more. Namely an alien scavenger fleet from a race called the Kahin, the horrific Phenomenon that spreads through pain and the Church-sanctioned Heaven Men, all playing a part.
The story will start at the beginning of the Second World War, but it'll be a very different War to the one we've read about in the history books. The idea will be that most of the short stories (it takes the form of a collection of shorts all based around the same subject) will be an event from the actual WW2, then altered to fit the new history. The best example I can give is the Miracle of Dunkirk will be come known instead as the Massacre of Dunkerque, because events there went very, very differently. The rest I'll research as I go along with it. Naturally, a fair few will be made up to fit with the various supernatural or sci-fi elements that the whole series is about in the first place.
So yeah... WW2 with aliens, werewolves, laser guns, super-heroes and a whole bunch of different country names. It's also lacking one major thing... Nazis.
I should also mention that at the moment I am very much enjoying the work of Madam KT Tunstall, who is very good to write to. On with the film review then.
THE IDES OF MARCH
By the time I saw this film, this was the 3rd movie I'd actually had to pay to see this year, the other two being massive disappointments (Green Lantern and Conan the Barbarian). This one made them worth it. Ides is a slick, smooth, dark political thriller about intelligence, sex and corruption, the corner stones of American politics. Damn you George Clooney, you're a real triple threat now (actor, director, writer).
We follow young Stephen (played by Ryan Gosling, who's on something of a streak at the moment), a Junior Campaign Manager for Mike Morris (George Clooney), who is running for President. When he becomes involved with a blonde intern, the idealism of his politics is utterly shaken as he finds that his hero, Morris, is not as squeaky clean as he'd thought. At first he seems to be dragged into this seedy world, then he jumps in.
This film is about how far a working man will go for his job, I think. He's good at his job, he wants to do it and he wants to be the best at is, so therefore he will sacrifice anything and anyone to get there. My friend Kerry said that he found the ending anti-climactic because 'it's what anyone would have done', he said. I'm not sure I agree with that, since not many of us are in the same position. I think if faced with that situation, I'm not sure most of us would have been as ruthless as Stephen found himself to be. I know that I probably wouldn't have been.
Any film that makes you question if you could do the same... well, that's all it has to do to impress me. This was a well written, well acted, very tragic story about personal collapse and re-emergance. I highly recommend.
Later today: THE AWAKENING
Monday, 26 December 2011
Supposedly A Writer
It occurs to me that I'm supposed to be a writer. I just graduated from Universiry with a Batchelor of Arts (with Honours) Degree in Screenwriting, so I should probably pretend that I could be a real writer, one that does it for money or something like that. So as of the New Year, I'm making the pledge to myself that I will try to get my novel published. I know that I studied screenwriting, not novelwriting, but at the same time, I've got this done and I'm happy with it, so I want to try and get it out there. What is it, I hear you ask? Well, I shall reveal all.
Tomorrow.
I'm gonna dedicate the next few posts (and random others throughout next year) to what writing projects I'm working on, how I feel they're doing and what they're all about. I'm kinda doing this out of ego, and also because I just really want to talk about them, mainly because I feel my genius will be lost if nobody knows about it. I've already got a few fans of my garbled words, so I may as well big myself up a bit about them. This blog post is mainly filler, of course, a thinly disguised attempt at getting through all the movie reviews that I've got left to do for the year.
My ambition would be to get a script gig at some point in my future, but if I don't make it, I'd like to know that at least some people thought of me as a writer.
For those who are interested in my scripts and stories, you can ask me for some and I'll do my best to send it to you and you can make up your own minds on them.
For now...
WE NEED TO
TALK ABOUT
KEVIN
I can sum up the feeling of watching We Need To Talk About Kevin in one easy reaction. I genuinely felt after this movie had concluded that I should call my mother and apologise. I don't know what I should apologise for, but God Damn did I feel the need to. So you know what? I did exactly that.
If I hadn't seen Senna earlier this year, then I would probably be touting the Film Of The Year card right now, but with careful consideration I'd say that this is easily top five material. It's cold, unsettling, brutal, empathic, voyeuristic and masochistic all at the same time.
This film has enough malice to make me shudder in fear, enough weight to crush me beneath it and enough acting talent to make Brando take a step back and hold up his hands. Easily the film of Tilda Swinton's career, newcomer Ezra Miller is chilling and even John C. Rielly manages to pull a straight role.
This is a movie I'm hesitant about recommending, simply because I'm not sure how many people have the stomach for it. It is most certainly one that will test its audiance's limits with sadism and sociopathy. I liked it, but I wouldn't be in a rush to watch it again, to be completely honest with you.
Next blog: THE IDES OF MARCH.
Tomorrow.
I'm gonna dedicate the next few posts (and random others throughout next year) to what writing projects I'm working on, how I feel they're doing and what they're all about. I'm kinda doing this out of ego, and also because I just really want to talk about them, mainly because I feel my genius will be lost if nobody knows about it. I've already got a few fans of my garbled words, so I may as well big myself up a bit about them. This blog post is mainly filler, of course, a thinly disguised attempt at getting through all the movie reviews that I've got left to do for the year.
My ambition would be to get a script gig at some point in my future, but if I don't make it, I'd like to know that at least some people thought of me as a writer.
For those who are interested in my scripts and stories, you can ask me for some and I'll do my best to send it to you and you can make up your own minds on them.
For now...
WE NEED TO
TALK ABOUT
KEVIN
I can sum up the feeling of watching We Need To Talk About Kevin in one easy reaction. I genuinely felt after this movie had concluded that I should call my mother and apologise. I don't know what I should apologise for, but God Damn did I feel the need to. So you know what? I did exactly that.
If I hadn't seen Senna earlier this year, then I would probably be touting the Film Of The Year card right now, but with careful consideration I'd say that this is easily top five material. It's cold, unsettling, brutal, empathic, voyeuristic and masochistic all at the same time.
This film has enough malice to make me shudder in fear, enough weight to crush me beneath it and enough acting talent to make Brando take a step back and hold up his hands. Easily the film of Tilda Swinton's career, newcomer Ezra Miller is chilling and even John C. Rielly manages to pull a straight role.
This is a movie I'm hesitant about recommending, simply because I'm not sure how many people have the stomach for it. It is most certainly one that will test its audiance's limits with sadism and sociopathy. I liked it, but I wouldn't be in a rush to watch it again, to be completely honest with you.
Next blog: THE IDES OF MARCH.
Giver Of Gifts
As Tim pointed out, we but peolpe Christmas presents because we expect them in return. Tim got me three xbox games for Christmas (after the droll hilarity of passing an HMV gift card between the two of us), none of which were all that cheap. So... that would mean that in order to truly acknowledge what he was after, I would have to spend more money on him (a sometime irritating co-worker and fellow gamer nerd) than I would on members of my close family.
That seems a bit... greedy, doesn't it? I mean, surely giving away that kind of stuff in the first place means that I'm now obliged to return something of roughly equal value (which he didn't get, since he got roughly the same for my brother and we teamed up to get him stuff that was roughly equal to one of our gift packages). But if I simply can't afford that (which I can), or if I simply don't want to get him that, should I have to?
He's been trying to get me to acknowledge the spirit of Christmas for a while now, and he hasn't really succeeded, but he did get me some bitching xbox games, so I guess that I'll fork out for some stuff for him. It'd be rude and unseasonal not to. But next year? Oh next year he's going on the same £30 budget that I get everyone's gifts from, no matter what he pulls out of his hat. I always figure that if you can't do it for £30, why do it?
THE FADES.
As I said a couple of months back, I'm not doing my TV blog anymore, instead I'm gonna talk about the occasional show in here. Well, The Fades is the first example of that that I'm gonna do. This show came out of nowhere on the BBC, written by the Jack Thorne (veteran of This Is England follow up series '86 and now '88, as well as doing some work on Skins and Cast Offs) and starring a bunch of people that were familiar British TV faces. Daniel Kaluuya had been on Skins playing a similiar character, Joe Dempsie was another Skins graduate, Tom Ellis has been on more TV shows in the last few years than many camera crews, Natalie Dormer was in Silk, The Tudors and even frickin' Captain America and I know that I recognise Clare Rushbrook from somewhere, but can't recall where.
Only real newcomers for me were Ian de Caestecker as the lead, Paul, and Johnny Harris. I then discovered that Johnny Harris is awesome and I want him to be in everything.
So, this show is basically GIEST: THE SIN-EATERS, the TV series. It's about a boy who grows angelic powers to fight ghosts and be torn between that and his family life.
Sounds simple, and it is. It's brilliantly effective, overly cheeky and exceptionally nerdy. It has all the right beats, all the correct pacing to make this a great show.
The absolute crowner of the series is the final episode, not for the actual climax (which was great), but because it really, really showed up Steven Moffat and Toby Whithouse, who showrun for Doctor Who and Being Human respectively. You know why? Because unlike those two shows, the final episode of the The Fades was the natural and explosive culmination of all the events that had come before it in the series. You'd think that'd be bog standard for a TV series, but no, Moffat and Whithouse had this tendency to go completely bananas and set the last episode in a different town with no pacing or to create a pointless sub-universe of all time crashing together or some other utterly random show-breaking episode that had nothing to do with the episodes that came before it.
Funny how that makes things better.
If I had a couple of complaints about The Fades, then it'd be that the show didn't get the best out of Ian de Caestecker (who proved a much better actor in Young James Herriot), and made him feel wooden to the audience. Mac's 'Previously On' sections were at first endearing and then fucking irritating, especially since it was him, in the second episode, that introduced to the term 'Angelics', not in the actual continuity of the series itself. Tom Ellis' character was, while well played and well thought out, ultimately pointless to the series, I felt. Also it seemed to only take five minutes for a person to go from person, to Fade, to Reborn, then become a cannibalistic version of themselves, but I guess that was so they could reuse actors quite happily, something I don't blame them for.
So yeah, I am eagerly hoping for a new series next year, because the way it ended certainly deserved it, as did the characters themselves. More Johnny Harris. More Johnny Harris now.
Next up: WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN
That seems a bit... greedy, doesn't it? I mean, surely giving away that kind of stuff in the first place means that I'm now obliged to return something of roughly equal value (which he didn't get, since he got roughly the same for my brother and we teamed up to get him stuff that was roughly equal to one of our gift packages). But if I simply can't afford that (which I can), or if I simply don't want to get him that, should I have to?
He's been trying to get me to acknowledge the spirit of Christmas for a while now, and he hasn't really succeeded, but he did get me some bitching xbox games, so I guess that I'll fork out for some stuff for him. It'd be rude and unseasonal not to. But next year? Oh next year he's going on the same £30 budget that I get everyone's gifts from, no matter what he pulls out of his hat. I always figure that if you can't do it for £30, why do it?
THE FADES.
As I said a couple of months back, I'm not doing my TV blog anymore, instead I'm gonna talk about the occasional show in here. Well, The Fades is the first example of that that I'm gonna do. This show came out of nowhere on the BBC, written by the Jack Thorne (veteran of This Is England follow up series '86 and now '88, as well as doing some work on Skins and Cast Offs) and starring a bunch of people that were familiar British TV faces. Daniel Kaluuya had been on Skins playing a similiar character, Joe Dempsie was another Skins graduate, Tom Ellis has been on more TV shows in the last few years than many camera crews, Natalie Dormer was in Silk, The Tudors and even frickin' Captain America and I know that I recognise Clare Rushbrook from somewhere, but can't recall where.
Only real newcomers for me were Ian de Caestecker as the lead, Paul, and Johnny Harris. I then discovered that Johnny Harris is awesome and I want him to be in everything.
So, this show is basically GIEST: THE SIN-EATERS, the TV series. It's about a boy who grows angelic powers to fight ghosts and be torn between that and his family life.
Sounds simple, and it is. It's brilliantly effective, overly cheeky and exceptionally nerdy. It has all the right beats, all the correct pacing to make this a great show.
The absolute crowner of the series is the final episode, not for the actual climax (which was great), but because it really, really showed up Steven Moffat and Toby Whithouse, who showrun for Doctor Who and Being Human respectively. You know why? Because unlike those two shows, the final episode of the The Fades was the natural and explosive culmination of all the events that had come before it in the series. You'd think that'd be bog standard for a TV series, but no, Moffat and Whithouse had this tendency to go completely bananas and set the last episode in a different town with no pacing or to create a pointless sub-universe of all time crashing together or some other utterly random show-breaking episode that had nothing to do with the episodes that came before it.
Funny how that makes things better.
If I had a couple of complaints about The Fades, then it'd be that the show didn't get the best out of Ian de Caestecker (who proved a much better actor in Young James Herriot), and made him feel wooden to the audience. Mac's 'Previously On' sections were at first endearing and then fucking irritating, especially since it was him, in the second episode, that introduced to the term 'Angelics', not in the actual continuity of the series itself. Tom Ellis' character was, while well played and well thought out, ultimately pointless to the series, I felt. Also it seemed to only take five minutes for a person to go from person, to Fade, to Reborn, then become a cannibalistic version of themselves, but I guess that was so they could reuse actors quite happily, something I don't blame them for.
So yeah, I am eagerly hoping for a new series next year, because the way it ended certainly deserved it, as did the characters themselves. More Johnny Harris. More Johnny Harris now.
Next up: WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN
Sunday, 25 December 2011
The Weather Outside Is Frightful
Gonna try to lighten the mood, I appreciate that last one probably wasn't much fun to read, not even for me looking back at it.
It's true, I don't like this time of year for all the reasons above, I don't like how we go mad for something that is ultimately about shops trying to make as much money as possible. I don't like being dictated to about my damn emotional state.
But Christmas, once upon a time, was a day for walking down the street and being able to say 'Merry Christmas' to everyone you saw and they'd say it back to you. That's what it should be all about. To be honest, I want the Church to take it back.
I mean, Christmas is a Christian tradition in the first place (designed to co-incide with the Winter Solstice) and I think that, quite frankly, we should ackowledge where it came from, what with Jesus and all that. It's his birthday, right?
Did you know that the twelve days of Christmas (as the song implies) go from December 25th to January 5th. That December 1st to December 24th is actually called Advent? See, if these things were more commonly known, I think I'd prefer that.
But that doesn't sell toys and iphones, does it? Also, I just don't really like mince pies. Ick. So I spent my Christmas with my brother, watching all 4 Die Hard movies (2 of them are seasonal, after all) and failing to eat all of the steak I brought with me. Who needs turkey, after all, eh?
BEAUTIFUL LIES.
As I said with Potiche, why do anyone who isn't French make Romantic Comedies? I mean, the concept for this is hardly overwhelmingly original, but it's pulled off with such style, finesse and charm that it just doesn't matter. This is a perfectly servicable film showing off the considerable talents of Miss Audrey 'Amilie' Tautou and the gorgeous Nathalie Baye.
The twisting plot follows tormented and overly talented Jean writing a love letter to Emilie (Tautou) and then not having the courage to sign it. She then gets freaked out by it and, in an attempt to break her mother (Baye) out of her depressed slump, forwards it to her, pretending that it was for her all along. Thus ensues a convoluted yet endearing story of mistaken identity.
The jokes are underplayed, the characters are rounded and the look of it stylish, typical French. Why does anyone who isn't French bother to make Romantic Comedies? I highly recommend it, it's a good one.
Next up: THE FADES.
It's true, I don't like this time of year for all the reasons above, I don't like how we go mad for something that is ultimately about shops trying to make as much money as possible. I don't like being dictated to about my damn emotional state.
But Christmas, once upon a time, was a day for walking down the street and being able to say 'Merry Christmas' to everyone you saw and they'd say it back to you. That's what it should be all about. To be honest, I want the Church to take it back.
I mean, Christmas is a Christian tradition in the first place (designed to co-incide with the Winter Solstice) and I think that, quite frankly, we should ackowledge where it came from, what with Jesus and all that. It's his birthday, right?
Did you know that the twelve days of Christmas (as the song implies) go from December 25th to January 5th. That December 1st to December 24th is actually called Advent? See, if these things were more commonly known, I think I'd prefer that.
But that doesn't sell toys and iphones, does it? Also, I just don't really like mince pies. Ick. So I spent my Christmas with my brother, watching all 4 Die Hard movies (2 of them are seasonal, after all) and failing to eat all of the steak I brought with me. Who needs turkey, after all, eh?
BEAUTIFUL LIES.
As I said with Potiche, why do anyone who isn't French make Romantic Comedies? I mean, the concept for this is hardly overwhelmingly original, but it's pulled off with such style, finesse and charm that it just doesn't matter. This is a perfectly servicable film showing off the considerable talents of Miss Audrey 'Amilie' Tautou and the gorgeous Nathalie Baye.
The twisting plot follows tormented and overly talented Jean writing a love letter to Emilie (Tautou) and then not having the courage to sign it. She then gets freaked out by it and, in an attempt to break her mother (Baye) out of her depressed slump, forwards it to her, pretending that it was for her all along. Thus ensues a convoluted yet endearing story of mistaken identity.
The jokes are underplayed, the characters are rounded and the look of it stylish, typical French. Why does anyone who isn't French bother to make Romantic Comedies? I highly recommend it, it's a good one.
Next up: THE FADES.
Bah Frickin' Humbug
I'm not one for the Christmas spirit, I think most people who know me well should know that by now. I'm a 'Mr. Grumpy Gills' according to Newgirl and a grouch to everyone else. The thing is, I don't care what people say to point out that I'm 'wrong' about Christmas... I still fuckin' hate Christmas.
Why should I like it? I mean, any other time of year, if every single shop and pub and cafe in the country were playing the same twenty two songs (with multiple different versions of each) over and over again for at least five weeks, people would go insane about it, they'd call it madness.
But no, it's Christmas.
It's the most stressful and busy time of the year for the vast majority of people, considering that most people in the retail and service industries have to work their arses off to cater for all the kids who go absolutely mental every ten minutes.
It's easily officially the most depressing time of year, I bet that if you looked up the statistics on national suicide rates, where do you think they'd all be focussed, eh? My own brother is going through a dark patch at the moment, so don't I know.
The inane traditions of spending inordinate amounts of money on gifts for people that probably won't appreciate them, the rampant commercialism that killed the actaul spirit of Goodwill To All Men quite some time ago, the late night shopping, the early opening hours, the blinking lights...
I hate Christmas. I really do.
For me this year it's been stressful in the extreme. Between December 5th and December 24th I didn't get a day off, so that's 20 straight days working, I had three rounds of dental surgery on my half days and I had to juggle moving house with constantly trying to arrange a Christmas for my brother. It's been a hard, gruelling slog and you know the worst part?
Everyone keeps telling you to be happy. They tell you to cheer up, not be grumpy. As if they somehow have to the divine right to dictate to you how you should feel, everyone keeps telling you that it's Christmas, so you have to be happy. Well, here's my personal message to all those people who think that just 'cause it's Christmas, you have to be happy:
Fuck you. Fuck off.
Merry fucking Christmas.
THE SMURFS.
Believe it or not, but this isn't quite the bile fest I thought it would be. I'm not entirely sure why anyone thought it was neccessary to make a Smurfs movie, but it's not truly terrible. I didn't think that it was really bad in any way, but at the same time I don't really think it's all that great.
The animation was average and the plot was basic, the vague kid-friendly messages were all a little heavy handed and didn't really contribute to the film. I found Hank Azaria's performance of Gargamel to be irritating at best, while I felt that Neil Patrick Harris was scraping the bottom of the barrel.
It's a bright, cheery film with at least one unexpected moment of true epicness and a pleasing ability for self parody when it comes to the history of the Smurfs in publication, but all in all it's no great loss to your education if you miss this one. Nice idea with the Blue Moon and all that.
Next up: Beautiful Lies
Why should I like it? I mean, any other time of year, if every single shop and pub and cafe in the country were playing the same twenty two songs (with multiple different versions of each) over and over again for at least five weeks, people would go insane about it, they'd call it madness.
But no, it's Christmas.
It's the most stressful and busy time of the year for the vast majority of people, considering that most people in the retail and service industries have to work their arses off to cater for all the kids who go absolutely mental every ten minutes.
It's easily officially the most depressing time of year, I bet that if you looked up the statistics on national suicide rates, where do you think they'd all be focussed, eh? My own brother is going through a dark patch at the moment, so don't I know.
The inane traditions of spending inordinate amounts of money on gifts for people that probably won't appreciate them, the rampant commercialism that killed the actaul spirit of Goodwill To All Men quite some time ago, the late night shopping, the early opening hours, the blinking lights...
I hate Christmas. I really do.
For me this year it's been stressful in the extreme. Between December 5th and December 24th I didn't get a day off, so that's 20 straight days working, I had three rounds of dental surgery on my half days and I had to juggle moving house with constantly trying to arrange a Christmas for my brother. It's been a hard, gruelling slog and you know the worst part?
Everyone keeps telling you to be happy. They tell you to cheer up, not be grumpy. As if they somehow have to the divine right to dictate to you how you should feel, everyone keeps telling you that it's Christmas, so you have to be happy. Well, here's my personal message to all those people who think that just 'cause it's Christmas, you have to be happy:
Fuck you. Fuck off.
Merry fucking Christmas.
THE SMURFS.
Believe it or not, but this isn't quite the bile fest I thought it would be. I'm not entirely sure why anyone thought it was neccessary to make a Smurfs movie, but it's not truly terrible. I didn't think that it was really bad in any way, but at the same time I don't really think it's all that great.
The animation was average and the plot was basic, the vague kid-friendly messages were all a little heavy handed and didn't really contribute to the film. I found Hank Azaria's performance of Gargamel to be irritating at best, while I felt that Neil Patrick Harris was scraping the bottom of the barrel.
It's a bright, cheery film with at least one unexpected moment of true epicness and a pleasing ability for self parody when it comes to the history of the Smurfs in publication, but all in all it's no great loss to your education if you miss this one. Nice idea with the Blue Moon and all that.
Next up: Beautiful Lies
Saturday, 24 December 2011
20 Days Straight
So why haven't I been blogging lately? Probably because I've been working for 20 days straight and I'm too tired to sleep, think, count and in some cases eat.
It's panto season at work and that means kids everywhere, screaming and shouting as if they own the place. The only thing worse that kids are their parents.
I mean, we charge £4.50 for a flashing light spinner thing that'll break within a week and the kids will forget they own before then and you know what? They pay it. I mean, they will do anything to get their kids to shut up when they're out at the panto and it makes me both vindicated and depressed.
The cafe's doing okay, very busy before shows. So far no sign of a franchise looking to take over the place, but potentially around March time. To be honest, I don't want them to find one, we can do it ourselves, I reckon, and I definately want to keep hold of my shiny new supervisor position, naturally!
And now I'm on a train, bringing a chiller bag full of Christmas dinner up to Bath so that me and my brother can spend the only day off I get this month together.
Ah... sod it.
KIND HEARTS AND CORONETS.
Once a season, the Corn Exchange shows a classic film from the years of yore. I'm pretty sure that this choice was related to Alec Guinness being in Tinker, Tailor back in the day and that we've just been showing the new Tinker, Tailor. Whatever the reason, I'm ridiculously glad I got the chance to see this movie on the big screen. Quite frankly, they just don't make them like this anymore. This film is an absolute treasure.
We follow the vengeful adventures of Louis Mazzini, the long lost distant relative of a powerful family that is all played by Sir Alec Guinness. Genuinely, the man plays eight different parts in this film and they're all brilliant. Mazzini feels robbed by the family, since he isn't acknowledged in their eyes at all, so he sets himself the task of becoming the head of the family, the Duke of Chalfont. He does this through murder.
Lots and lots of murder.
And it's hilarious in a very dark way, it's witty and charming and ever so smooth. The only real problems I had with this movie were the near constant narration (but then, the frame of the movie is Mazzini writing his memoirs just before his execution) and the fact that the Admiral Horatio D'Ascoyne drowns in an incident that has nothing to do with Mazzini's revenge, but his death was neccessary. If maybe Mazzini had just had some small part in it... eh, it doesn't matter. It's still a beautifully thoughtful and well put together movie that's well worth your time to look up.
Next time: The Smurfs.
It's panto season at work and that means kids everywhere, screaming and shouting as if they own the place. The only thing worse that kids are their parents.
I mean, we charge £4.50 for a flashing light spinner thing that'll break within a week and the kids will forget they own before then and you know what? They pay it. I mean, they will do anything to get their kids to shut up when they're out at the panto and it makes me both vindicated and depressed.
The cafe's doing okay, very busy before shows. So far no sign of a franchise looking to take over the place, but potentially around March time. To be honest, I don't want them to find one, we can do it ourselves, I reckon, and I definately want to keep hold of my shiny new supervisor position, naturally!
And now I'm on a train, bringing a chiller bag full of Christmas dinner up to Bath so that me and my brother can spend the only day off I get this month together.
Ah... sod it.
KIND HEARTS AND CORONETS.
Once a season, the Corn Exchange shows a classic film from the years of yore. I'm pretty sure that this choice was related to Alec Guinness being in Tinker, Tailor back in the day and that we've just been showing the new Tinker, Tailor. Whatever the reason, I'm ridiculously glad I got the chance to see this movie on the big screen. Quite frankly, they just don't make them like this anymore. This film is an absolute treasure.
We follow the vengeful adventures of Louis Mazzini, the long lost distant relative of a powerful family that is all played by Sir Alec Guinness. Genuinely, the man plays eight different parts in this film and they're all brilliant. Mazzini feels robbed by the family, since he isn't acknowledged in their eyes at all, so he sets himself the task of becoming the head of the family, the Duke of Chalfont. He does this through murder.
Lots and lots of murder.
And it's hilarious in a very dark way, it's witty and charming and ever so smooth. The only real problems I had with this movie were the near constant narration (but then, the frame of the movie is Mazzini writing his memoirs just before his execution) and the fact that the Admiral Horatio D'Ascoyne drowns in an incident that has nothing to do with Mazzini's revenge, but his death was neccessary. If maybe Mazzini had just had some small part in it... eh, it doesn't matter. It's still a beautifully thoughtful and well put together movie that's well worth your time to look up.
Next time: The Smurfs.
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