Bah Frickin' Humbug

I'm not one for the Christmas spirit, I think most people who know me well should know that by now. I'm a 'Mr. Grumpy Gills' according to Newgirl and a grouch to everyone else. The thing is, I don't care what people say to point out that I'm 'wrong' about Christmas... I still fuckin' hate Christmas.

Why should I like it? I mean, any other time of year, if every single shop and pub and cafe in the country were playing the same twenty two songs (with multiple different versions of each) over and over again for at least five weeks, people would go insane about it, they'd call it madness.

But no, it's Christmas.

It's the most stressful and busy time of the year for the vast majority of people, considering that most people in the retail and service industries have to work their arses off to cater for all the kids who go absolutely mental every ten minutes.

It's easily officially the most depressing time of year, I bet that if you looked up the statistics on national suicide rates, where do you think they'd all be focussed, eh? My own brother is going through a dark patch at the moment, so don't I know.

The inane traditions of spending inordinate amounts of money on gifts for people that probably won't appreciate them, the rampant commercialism that killed the actaul spirit of Goodwill To All Men quite some time ago, the late night shopping, the early opening hours, the blinking lights...

I hate Christmas. I really do.

For me this year it's been stressful in the extreme. Between December 5th and December 24th I didn't get a day off, so that's 20 straight days working, I had three rounds of dental surgery on my half days and I had to juggle moving house with constantly trying to arrange a Christmas for my brother. It's been a hard, gruelling slog and you know the worst part?

Everyone keeps telling you to be happy. They tell you to cheer up, not be grumpy. As if they somehow have to the divine right to dictate to you how you should feel, everyone keeps telling you that it's Christmas, so you have to be happy. Well, here's my personal message to all those people who think that just 'cause it's Christmas, you have to be happy:

Fuck you. Fuck off.

Merry fucking Christmas.

THE SMURFS.

Believe it or not, but this isn't quite the bile fest I thought it would be. I'm not entirely sure why anyone thought it was neccessary to make a Smurfs movie, but it's not truly terrible. I didn't think that it was really bad in any way, but at the same time I don't really think it's all that great.

The animation was average and the plot was basic, the vague kid-friendly messages were all a little heavy handed and didn't really contribute to the film. I found Hank Azaria's performance of Gargamel to be irritating at best, while I felt that Neil Patrick Harris was scraping the bottom of the barrel.

It's a bright, cheery film with at least one unexpected moment of true epicness and a pleasing ability for self parody when it comes to the history of the Smurfs in publication, but all in all it's no great loss to your education if you miss this one. Nice idea with the Blue Moon and all that.

Next up: Beautiful Lies