Well, since December 5th, this is my second day off. My first was Christmas Day.
Happy New Year guys. I like New Years. I get a day off. Why the hell am I still typing?
THE THING
I did enjoy this film, but at the same time I couldn't help but feel that it just didn't quite live up to the work of John Carpenter. That's an iconic film and I don't think that anyone should have tried remaking it without some seriously new ideas about what to do for it. This film did not have some seriously new ideas, it just had some new CGI.
The main problem was that the aforementioned CGI was so shiny that the producers clearly wanted it cranked out as quickly as possible, thus making the film just a bit too suspense-less, since we saw the monster within the first twenty or so minutes. Don't get me wrong, it was cool looking, though, they ceratinly got what the whole body horror thing was about.
I'd give this film about a 5.5 out of 10 if I were going by a number system, there was some decent action and a few bits of nice imagery, one very neat ending sequence that neatly ties it into the John Carpenter film (of which this is supposed to be both a remake and a prequel) and smoe bearable acting. On the whole though, too much noise, too many non-characters.
But Mary Elizabeth Winstead is still hot.
First of Next Year: HUGO
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Friday, 30 December 2011
So Very Tired
So what with all the work I'm doing at the moment, and the dental surgery, and the helping my brother where I can, I was also attempting to move house. It turns out that I'm probably not going to get the flat that myself and Kerry were after, since both of our employers let us down on the credit rating checks. To be honest, we probably shouldn't have tried to move at Christmas time.
But that doesn't make it any less annoying to us. I mean, both our bosses are busy people, we know this, they work as hard as we do (he says, not quite believing it), but they could have done a better job of this for us. It's our future they're screwing over by not being on the ball. I know for a fact that I'm more prompt and more reliable at my job than my boss... but I don't want to sound like I'm bitching, so I won't talk about it anymore.
Gah, I'm not going to think about it anymore. I mean, trying to move house straight after all this panto work would probably have finished me off. I woke up this morning with sexy blues singer voice, or hacky death voice as Moina would put it. I started coughing a lot, the dressing on one of my teeth came off completely today, so it's fully exposed now and... I...
I'm so tired I could cry.
YOUNG JAMES HERRIOT.
Don't know why I wanted to talk about this show, but when I was looking around for one last thing to review for the year, I could only think of this, so this I shall talk about. I don't mean to be stalking the burgeoning career of Iain de Caestecker, but will be the second show in which he took a leading part that I'll be talking about in the last few days.
The series follows the beginning of university for young man by the name of James Herriot, who would go on in reality to become an exceptional vet and renowed author. Of course, in reality James Herriot was a page name for James Alfred Wight, while the series simply calls him Herriot, thus pushing it even further into the 'fictionalised' zone.
The main thing that struck me about this series was the underused potential. Like all BBC produced period pieces, it's gorgeous and has all the right Scottish accents. But like all BBC produced series that feature Amy Manson (a survivor of Being Human and Outcasts), something went wrong. Not that Amy was the cause, but she just seems to be around when it happens.
Basically, with all the build up to the Mid-War Politics (including some fiesty racism) and all the gender issues that were being thrown about, as well as the general meat and potatoes that goes with a character like Herriot learning his new trade and making all the mistakes and engaging in learning and all that... I was kind of expecting something a bit heftier.
Part of the problem was that there were only three episodes, making it quite difficult to get to grips with itself, it didn't quite find its own groove, despite having all the right pieces in the right places, none of it actually came together. It's like having all the right ingredients for a good cake and then accidently buying a prepacked one that looked better than it tasted.
Mind you, it got good performances out of Curran, de Caestecker and Mason, so it could have been worse. What does confuse me about the whole thing in the first place was why did anyone at the BBC think, James Herriot, everyone knows who he is, right? Everyone will want to see that. I'll watch almost anything, but even I was hesitant about this. Still, at least Ab Fab was indeed Fab.
Last for the year: THE THING
But that doesn't make it any less annoying to us. I mean, both our bosses are busy people, we know this, they work as hard as we do (he says, not quite believing it), but they could have done a better job of this for us. It's our future they're screwing over by not being on the ball. I know for a fact that I'm more prompt and more reliable at my job than my boss... but I don't want to sound like I'm bitching, so I won't talk about it anymore.
Gah, I'm not going to think about it anymore. I mean, trying to move house straight after all this panto work would probably have finished me off. I woke up this morning with sexy blues singer voice, or hacky death voice as Moina would put it. I started coughing a lot, the dressing on one of my teeth came off completely today, so it's fully exposed now and... I...
I'm so tired I could cry.
YOUNG JAMES HERRIOT.
Don't know why I wanted to talk about this show, but when I was looking around for one last thing to review for the year, I could only think of this, so this I shall talk about. I don't mean to be stalking the burgeoning career of Iain de Caestecker, but will be the second show in which he took a leading part that I'll be talking about in the last few days.
The series follows the beginning of university for young man by the name of James Herriot, who would go on in reality to become an exceptional vet and renowed author. Of course, in reality James Herriot was a page name for James Alfred Wight, while the series simply calls him Herriot, thus pushing it even further into the 'fictionalised' zone.
The main thing that struck me about this series was the underused potential. Like all BBC produced period pieces, it's gorgeous and has all the right Scottish accents. But like all BBC produced series that feature Amy Manson (a survivor of Being Human and Outcasts), something went wrong. Not that Amy was the cause, but she just seems to be around when it happens.
Basically, with all the build up to the Mid-War Politics (including some fiesty racism) and all the gender issues that were being thrown about, as well as the general meat and potatoes that goes with a character like Herriot learning his new trade and making all the mistakes and engaging in learning and all that... I was kind of expecting something a bit heftier.
Part of the problem was that there were only three episodes, making it quite difficult to get to grips with itself, it didn't quite find its own groove, despite having all the right pieces in the right places, none of it actually came together. It's like having all the right ingredients for a good cake and then accidently buying a prepacked one that looked better than it tasted.
Mind you, it got good performances out of Curran, de Caestecker and Mason, so it could have been worse. What does confuse me about the whole thing in the first place was why did anyone at the BBC think, James Herriot, everyone knows who he is, right? Everyone will want to see that. I'll watch almost anything, but even I was hesitant about this. Still, at least Ab Fab was indeed Fab.
Last for the year: THE THING
Thursday, 29 December 2011
Just Painful
I was gonna talk about another writing project but quite frankly, I've been having an absolute dog of a month and I thought I'd just whine about that instead. That's kinda what a blog's all about, isn't it? An excuse to vent? Or at least a venue to do so. So yeah... my ridiculous month so far.
I was in Brighton to visit my Moina and came back on the 5th. I then immeadiately had my first dental appointment, to have three fillings and then a rather tough extraction. I then had work at Rios, pretty much straight away. After that, I worked nineteen more days. The majority of those were more than twelve hours.
In this time, I had nine more fillings and another extraction, as well as trying to arrange the new flat that Kerry and I are looking to move into. On top of this, my brother is having a bleak period and I had to bend over backwards to try and arrange a Christmas for him despite not being in the same town as him.
So yeah.
I had Christmas Day off and had to make a snappish return to work on the morning of Boxing Day and I've been doing twelve hour days apart from today itself. Today I had my fourth dental appointment in this series of operations. The fillings went just fine (three more), but then my dentist said that the last one should probably just be extracted, since it was pretty badly rotted. I said fine, and he then attempted to get it out.
No such luck.
After being late for work due to this appointment, I then found that the dressing put on this now-mauled tooth started to crumble almost immeadiately and my tooth started to ache if I put it in certain positions. Added to this, Mark of Rios may have screwed over our chance at getting the new flat by telling the Credit Check agency that Kerry has already left Rios and so therefore will go registered to them as unemployed.
Not a good day. Still, it's only four more days until the end of panto and things go back to normal.
WE HAVE A POPE.
This film was a surprise to me, I didn't see it coming at all. A comedy about the selection of the successor to the Pope? Brilliant! The choice gets cold feet at the last moment and the Vatican has to cover up that he's gone into hiding? Fantastic idea! This was a film with so much potential.
The sad part of this film was not that it didn't reach that potential, beacuse it did about 95% of the time. It was an incredibly warm, thought provoking film about the pressures that we can put on a single man's shoulders. The cardinals playing volleyball was an inspired sequence, that's for true.
Things that didn't work, the first psychoanalist character, what purpose did he serve? I genuinely thought that they were going to get him to track down the runaway Pope, that's what it seemed like he was heading for plot-wise. No, instead he stayed indoors and organised the volleyball for the first (and only) heat.
No, the true 5% downer was the end of the end of the movie. Why, movie? Why did you hurt me? Why was that last line neccessary? Couldn't we have had the happy ending that the film was actually building towards? Should I bring out the Donkey Punch reference again? For old times' sake?
Tomorrow: Young James Herriot.
As a side note... this appears to have been my 100th post in this blog. Hmm. Cool.
I was in Brighton to visit my Moina and came back on the 5th. I then immeadiately had my first dental appointment, to have three fillings and then a rather tough extraction. I then had work at Rios, pretty much straight away. After that, I worked nineteen more days. The majority of those were more than twelve hours.
In this time, I had nine more fillings and another extraction, as well as trying to arrange the new flat that Kerry and I are looking to move into. On top of this, my brother is having a bleak period and I had to bend over backwards to try and arrange a Christmas for him despite not being in the same town as him.
So yeah.
I had Christmas Day off and had to make a snappish return to work on the morning of Boxing Day and I've been doing twelve hour days apart from today itself. Today I had my fourth dental appointment in this series of operations. The fillings went just fine (three more), but then my dentist said that the last one should probably just be extracted, since it was pretty badly rotted. I said fine, and he then attempted to get it out.
No such luck.
After being late for work due to this appointment, I then found that the dressing put on this now-mauled tooth started to crumble almost immeadiately and my tooth started to ache if I put it in certain positions. Added to this, Mark of Rios may have screwed over our chance at getting the new flat by telling the Credit Check agency that Kerry has already left Rios and so therefore will go registered to them as unemployed.
Not a good day. Still, it's only four more days until the end of panto and things go back to normal.
WE HAVE A POPE.
This film was a surprise to me, I didn't see it coming at all. A comedy about the selection of the successor to the Pope? Brilliant! The choice gets cold feet at the last moment and the Vatican has to cover up that he's gone into hiding? Fantastic idea! This was a film with so much potential.
The sad part of this film was not that it didn't reach that potential, beacuse it did about 95% of the time. It was an incredibly warm, thought provoking film about the pressures that we can put on a single man's shoulders. The cardinals playing volleyball was an inspired sequence, that's for true.
Things that didn't work, the first psychoanalist character, what purpose did he serve? I genuinely thought that they were going to get him to track down the runaway Pope, that's what it seemed like he was heading for plot-wise. No, instead he stayed indoors and organised the volleyball for the first (and only) heat.
No, the true 5% downer was the end of the end of the movie. Why, movie? Why did you hurt me? Why was that last line neccessary? Couldn't we have had the happy ending that the film was actually building towards? Should I bring out the Donkey Punch reference again? For old times' sake?
Tomorrow: Young James Herriot.
As a side note... this appears to have been my 100th post in this blog. Hmm. Cool.
Lockdown
Well, Lockdown. I started work on Lockdown back in 2007, before I even went to university. It turned quickly into a sprawling epic of space, crime, magic and murder. Frequent, frequent murder. You see, Lockdown was the first time that I'd tried to actually write down one of my role-play games into story form. My group for this game were Andy, Marsh, Ade, Dave and Jon.
I figured, why not? My part in this game was that of ST, which means Storyteller, so surely it'd fit into a novel, right? Kinda. I mean, there was a lot from the game that simply didn't make it into the novel, there was a lot of trimming and subtle character alterations, mainly because I had no idea what my players were doing half the time. Not sure they did either.
What I recall most fondly about the game of Lockdown was that I had a nice, neat plot laid out, I had options for them and where I wanted them to go and what I wanted them to do... then they shot it all in the first session and all I could think to do afterwards was let them do what they want and I'd try to kill them every week. That's how the game worked, really.
So yeah, Davan, T, Grissom, Torn, Shore Bound and Twitchy. They were a motely crew of murderous scum whose morals were so ambiguous that half the time they were as likely to attack their allies as they were their enemies, but always come up with a reasonable justification for it during or slightly afterwards. These were my heroes, and I had to define my story around them.
To be honest, I'm still proud of what I managed to pull out of that game and try and forge into a coherent story. On the isolated space station of Neutral 3, a Lockdown means being trapped on the station while a war rages in the cold void of space around them. It can last for days or it can last for years. For our protagonists, it lasted around six months and Lockdown is the story of just what they had to do to survive within those sealed walls. With crime lords, gangers, witches and freaks, it's no surprise that these guys left a bloody swathe behind them. And it was fun.
WUTHERING HEIGHTS.
This was not fun. I've never read the book, but I'm told by everyone who has that it's a painful, dark, dreary, bitter story about horrible people who eventually all get what they deserve. Or so I'm informed. I think my brother described it as a book that hates people. If so, then they've completely captured it for this adaptation.
This was a dark, dreary, dragging, demorilising film (I couldn't think of any more D-words, but imagine a few more downheartening ones on top) that simply made me want to get up and walk out of the cinema. There was nothing worth watching in this film apart from maybe the girl that played the younger Cathie, she was good.
Oh, and all the dog murder. Not cool.
Overall, I'd recommend to completely avoid this film. It's a dreadful, depressing film that will only serve to make you loathe humans more than you thought possible. The directional style was jarring and uncomfortable to watch, the performances seemed half-arsed most of the time and I just can't talk about it anymore.
Avoid. Avoid at all costs, my friends.
When I get back from work: We Have A Pope.
I figured, why not? My part in this game was that of ST, which means Storyteller, so surely it'd fit into a novel, right? Kinda. I mean, there was a lot from the game that simply didn't make it into the novel, there was a lot of trimming and subtle character alterations, mainly because I had no idea what my players were doing half the time. Not sure they did either.
What I recall most fondly about the game of Lockdown was that I had a nice, neat plot laid out, I had options for them and where I wanted them to go and what I wanted them to do... then they shot it all in the first session and all I could think to do afterwards was let them do what they want and I'd try to kill them every week. That's how the game worked, really.
So yeah, Davan, T, Grissom, Torn, Shore Bound and Twitchy. They were a motely crew of murderous scum whose morals were so ambiguous that half the time they were as likely to attack their allies as they were their enemies, but always come up with a reasonable justification for it during or slightly afterwards. These were my heroes, and I had to define my story around them.
To be honest, I'm still proud of what I managed to pull out of that game and try and forge into a coherent story. On the isolated space station of Neutral 3, a Lockdown means being trapped on the station while a war rages in the cold void of space around them. It can last for days or it can last for years. For our protagonists, it lasted around six months and Lockdown is the story of just what they had to do to survive within those sealed walls. With crime lords, gangers, witches and freaks, it's no surprise that these guys left a bloody swathe behind them. And it was fun.
WUTHERING HEIGHTS.
This was not fun. I've never read the book, but I'm told by everyone who has that it's a painful, dark, dreary, bitter story about horrible people who eventually all get what they deserve. Or so I'm informed. I think my brother described it as a book that hates people. If so, then they've completely captured it for this adaptation.
This was a dark, dreary, dragging, demorilising film (I couldn't think of any more D-words, but imagine a few more downheartening ones on top) that simply made me want to get up and walk out of the cinema. There was nothing worth watching in this film apart from maybe the girl that played the younger Cathie, she was good.
Oh, and all the dog murder. Not cool.
Overall, I'd recommend to completely avoid this film. It's a dreadful, depressing film that will only serve to make you loathe humans more than you thought possible. The directional style was jarring and uncomfortable to watch, the performances seemed half-arsed most of the time and I just can't talk about it anymore.
Avoid. Avoid at all costs, my friends.
When I get back from work: We Have A Pope.
Wednesday, 28 December 2011
Council Of Unity
You thought you knew the true depths of Al's Nerdhood? You thought that you understood just how far from sanity and coolness he had strayed? You knew nothing, my friends, you do not understand until you know about The Council of Unity. You do not understand until you realise that Al has committed the gravest of sins...
Fan Fiction.
Alright, enough of that. Yes, I've done fan fiction and specifically that of the Warhammer 40,000 universe. In all fairness, what with video games such as Dawn of War and Space Marine, ol' 40K is picking up momentum in the public eye, but that doesn't mean that it isn't based off a model and dice wargame.
And yes, I've been a gamer for most of my life and will probably continue to be for a very long time. The most immersive part about it, to me, is that of the background and history of this universe and the best part about that again is that it's just so open. There's very little set down, and yet so much.
Hence...
The Council of Unity is about Space Marines. Space Marines are elite super-soldier-monk-knight-killing machines type guys that exist purely for war. There is no peace time for them, they simply go from one warzone to the next, always fighting the enemies of mankind, despite not really belonging to mankind anymore.
They are formed into thousand-strong armies called 'Chapters', each of which have thousands of years of history, tactical individuality and hidden secrets. Space Marines tend not to work together so much, since they are a bunch of proud, introverted bastards. But I thought... what if some of them did start working together?
Hence...
So Five Chapters of Space Marines all appear to be working together for some reason which hasn't been fully explained, and these stories are the various threats they face within the Valice Sector, the area of space they are responsible for. I only really did these stories as something to type up, that was about it.
Thing is, is that I started on my very first day of uni and this was the first project that kicked me off on writing something every single day. So it holds a special place in my heart, since every day at uni I would add another page to this chronicle. And just to annoy Nathan, each story is thirteen pages long and I did sixty.
In a year and a half.
POM WONDERFUL PRESENTS:
THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER
SOLD!
Now this, this is worth watching. As Documentaries go, this is hardly the most educational or moving, it's hardly Senna or even Bobby Fischer, but it's fun. It's out there to tell you about how much advertising goes into your movies without you even realising it and how much it affects your decisions.
I can't really say much about this movie, other than to say that it's Morgan Spurlock at his best, I would happily rate this film above Super Size Me, even though the element of personal risk in this one was put in, depsite it not being present at all, for him in this particular endevour.
Definately look this one up, it's amusing.
Tomorrow: Wuthering Heights.
Fan Fiction.
Alright, enough of that. Yes, I've done fan fiction and specifically that of the Warhammer 40,000 universe. In all fairness, what with video games such as Dawn of War and Space Marine, ol' 40K is picking up momentum in the public eye, but that doesn't mean that it isn't based off a model and dice wargame.
And yes, I've been a gamer for most of my life and will probably continue to be for a very long time. The most immersive part about it, to me, is that of the background and history of this universe and the best part about that again is that it's just so open. There's very little set down, and yet so much.
Hence...
The Council of Unity is about Space Marines. Space Marines are elite super-soldier-monk-knight-killing machines type guys that exist purely for war. There is no peace time for them, they simply go from one warzone to the next, always fighting the enemies of mankind, despite not really belonging to mankind anymore.
They are formed into thousand-strong armies called 'Chapters', each of which have thousands of years of history, tactical individuality and hidden secrets. Space Marines tend not to work together so much, since they are a bunch of proud, introverted bastards. But I thought... what if some of them did start working together?
Hence...
So Five Chapters of Space Marines all appear to be working together for some reason which hasn't been fully explained, and these stories are the various threats they face within the Valice Sector, the area of space they are responsible for. I only really did these stories as something to type up, that was about it.
Thing is, is that I started on my very first day of uni and this was the first project that kicked me off on writing something every single day. So it holds a special place in my heart, since every day at uni I would add another page to this chronicle. And just to annoy Nathan, each story is thirteen pages long and I did sixty.
In a year and a half.
POM WONDERFUL PRESENTS:
THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER
SOLD!
Now this, this is worth watching. As Documentaries go, this is hardly the most educational or moving, it's hardly Senna or even Bobby Fischer, but it's fun. It's out there to tell you about how much advertising goes into your movies without you even realising it and how much it affects your decisions.
I can't really say much about this movie, other than to say that it's Morgan Spurlock at his best, I would happily rate this film above Super Size Me, even though the element of personal risk in this one was put in, depsite it not being present at all, for him in this particular endevour.
Definately look this one up, it's amusing.
Tomorrow: Wuthering Heights.
Servants of God
Yes, I'm going to talk about Servants of God. Most of you who are reading this will probably be familiar with this particular project, it was my final script for my Degree course, roughly equivilent to a dissertation in weight of marks. At least that's what we'd like to believe.
I've always been fascinated by history and how it got us to where we are now. I mean, if you look at the world a thousand years ago, doesn't it just seem so alien and distant? How did anyone think the way they did back then? The Crusades are a prime example of how much and little things have changed.
In 1095, Pope Urban II declared the First Crusade and an army from all across Europe was gathered and set out across the Middle East to lay siege to a city that most of them had only heard of in the same breath as Adam and Eve. People were that dedicated that they were willing to give up their entire lives and take the Crusade, to journey across (what was then) the known world and attack a group of people that they had never met before, whose only crime was to have a different name for the same God.
In 1191, after the Great Sultan Salah Al-Din retook the city of Jerusalem from the Christian occupiers, King Richard the Lionheart launched the Third Crusade, an attempt to reclaim Jerusalem for Christianity. He spent seven months in the desert and ultimately left without succeeding in his objective. It was my objective to give an overview of those seven months within one hundred and twenty pages of script and then hand it in. I wrote four complete drafts and four half drafts, equalling about seven hundred pages.
The very last draft was an almost complete rewrite that was done within a single 24-hour period. I was very proud of how it came out in the end, following a young mercenary crossbowman who followed Richard's campaign and gradually found that the reason people came all this way to die, was because they wanted something to live for. A bit sappy, but it worked. And he was scottish, which helps. In the end, I had to cut a lot of characters, but kept in all the major battles and hope I kept in the spirit of the time.
I got a 63%, which is a 2:1. Not bad.
THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN:
THE SECRET OF THE UNICORN
Well, you know what, this just wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I had many, many terrible expectations and this managed to beat just about all of them. For parts, it kind of felt like Steven Spielberg trying to apologise for that God-Awful 4th Indiana Jones movie by having something of a rip-roaring adventure with plenty of action, swashbuckling and humour.
I'd say that the voice cast was good, but it was very confusing. Jamie Bell was obviously Tintin, but I was amazed to find that Captain Haddock was played by Andy Serkis, who genuinely managed to put on the best Gerard Butler impression I've ever heard. Likewise I'd thought that Sakharine was voiced by Richard E Grant or someone equally aristocratic. Nope, Daniel Craig.
That being said, it was clearly obvious which roles Pegg and Frost were down for from the start.
I'll say that I quite enjoyed ol' Tintin and I do hope that Peter Jackson follows up on his promise to make a second, after Spielberg's first outing in the series. If there was one massive area of pain to watch, it was the airplane sequence, which didn't so much stretch my suspension of disbelief as it did donkey punch it and leave it out in the road, weeping.
Not entirely sure that the empty fuel tank of a propeller plane can be fuelled by the beer-soaked breath of an alcoholic Sea Captain, but never mind, eh? Oddly, I found that Snowy didn't test my limits of disbelief, but the flooding/floating building sequence near the end almost got there. It was a little too kid-friendly (see my comments on Sammy's Adventures for that), but it still worked.
In a few minutes:
THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER SOLD
I've always been fascinated by history and how it got us to where we are now. I mean, if you look at the world a thousand years ago, doesn't it just seem so alien and distant? How did anyone think the way they did back then? The Crusades are a prime example of how much and little things have changed.
In 1095, Pope Urban II declared the First Crusade and an army from all across Europe was gathered and set out across the Middle East to lay siege to a city that most of them had only heard of in the same breath as Adam and Eve. People were that dedicated that they were willing to give up their entire lives and take the Crusade, to journey across (what was then) the known world and attack a group of people that they had never met before, whose only crime was to have a different name for the same God.
In 1191, after the Great Sultan Salah Al-Din retook the city of Jerusalem from the Christian occupiers, King Richard the Lionheart launched the Third Crusade, an attempt to reclaim Jerusalem for Christianity. He spent seven months in the desert and ultimately left without succeeding in his objective. It was my objective to give an overview of those seven months within one hundred and twenty pages of script and then hand it in. I wrote four complete drafts and four half drafts, equalling about seven hundred pages.
The very last draft was an almost complete rewrite that was done within a single 24-hour period. I was very proud of how it came out in the end, following a young mercenary crossbowman who followed Richard's campaign and gradually found that the reason people came all this way to die, was because they wanted something to live for. A bit sappy, but it worked. And he was scottish, which helps. In the end, I had to cut a lot of characters, but kept in all the major battles and hope I kept in the spirit of the time.
I got a 63%, which is a 2:1. Not bad.
THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN:
THE SECRET OF THE UNICORN
Well, you know what, this just wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I had many, many terrible expectations and this managed to beat just about all of them. For parts, it kind of felt like Steven Spielberg trying to apologise for that God-Awful 4th Indiana Jones movie by having something of a rip-roaring adventure with plenty of action, swashbuckling and humour.
I'd say that the voice cast was good, but it was very confusing. Jamie Bell was obviously Tintin, but I was amazed to find that Captain Haddock was played by Andy Serkis, who genuinely managed to put on the best Gerard Butler impression I've ever heard. Likewise I'd thought that Sakharine was voiced by Richard E Grant or someone equally aristocratic. Nope, Daniel Craig.
That being said, it was clearly obvious which roles Pegg and Frost were down for from the start.
I'll say that I quite enjoyed ol' Tintin and I do hope that Peter Jackson follows up on his promise to make a second, after Spielberg's first outing in the series. If there was one massive area of pain to watch, it was the airplane sequence, which didn't so much stretch my suspension of disbelief as it did donkey punch it and leave it out in the road, weeping.
Not entirely sure that the empty fuel tank of a propeller plane can be fuelled by the beer-soaked breath of an alcoholic Sea Captain, but never mind, eh? Oddly, I found that Snowy didn't test my limits of disbelief, but the flooding/floating building sequence near the end almost got there. It was a little too kid-friendly (see my comments on Sammy's Adventures for that), but it still worked.
In a few minutes:
THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER SOLD
Tuesday, 27 December 2011
Resistance
My other writing project, which I'm doing parrallel to Imperia, is called Resistance. It's a set of TV series scripts for a show about super-heroes in a post apocalyptic future. Now to me, that's exactly what I want to be seeing on television. I know that it ticks a couple of boxes for many of my friends as well, hence why I'm cracking through it with such gusto.
At time of typing this blog entry, I'm a few lines away from finishing the last episode of the second season of Resistance. Each episode is forty-two pages long (making an episode roughly forty-two minutes), each season is thirteen episodes, meaning that since I started back in February, I've produced one thousand and ninety two pages of this series. That's a fair amount.
My central superheroes are:
Stonewall - An Earth Elemental with great strength and the ability to manipulate the earth and stone around him. He takes on the leadership role of the team.
Rush - An Air Elemental who has similiar powers to Stonewall, but based around air. She's the only one who can fly. Acts as Stonewall's surrogate daughter.
Maelstrom - A freak accident has invested her with a constantly moving air wave, resulting in hurricanes if she loses control. Emotionally unstable, a British Exile.
Regiment - A Russian Genetic Weapon, a soldier who can multiply himself and act as a small army by himself. Deserted his post but remains loyal in his heart.
Network - A martial arts expert who uses a super-computer and a chemical in the water to take control of people's minds and bodies. Morally ambiguous, also rich.
They're a fractous team that didn't even properly assemble until the end of the first season. They've faced greedy businessmen with their own armies, giant telepathic crystals from space, enemy settlements and a great deal of wandering supers who either want to kill them or steal their stuff.
Pretty standard, really.
The setting is a city called Resistance, built not far from the Great Lakes. In this world, the Divided Russians and Britain are the super-powers that are in a state of conflict over the remains of what was once America. Freaks and monsters prowl the wastes and Transtates (people with super-powers) aren't trusted at all.
It's the kind of series I would watch, and there's no other reason as to why I'm writing it, really. It wouldn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of ever getting made, but it entertains my friends and myself, so I can't really ask any more of it, can I? Got three more seasons of it planned as well, all to be done next year.
THE AWAKENING.
Now, as British films go, I was incredibly impressed with the style and presentation of this movie. The Brits, we love a period piece and to see something set post-WW1 with ghosts was a treat. This was a very well put together film with some excellent pacing and some good acting.
Ever since he got back from that over-hyped borefest The Wire, Dominic West has been doing some really great work, exercising those distinctive dimples to the max. In this film he plays a war veteran turned boarding school teacher who tracks down a professional Ghost Disprover.
The reason why? His school has a ghost, so it would seem, and he wants her to deal with it. Rebecca Hall (who is just gorgeous, by the way) is she, and she promptly sets about looking for the 'ghost', eager to prove that no such thing exists. The only problem is that she's starting to see the very things that she normally does her best to discredit.
I very much enjoyed this film, but there were a number of points that I felt stuck out. Firstly, it felt very close to Spanish film 'The Orphanage'. I'd say that the Orphanage is a notch above this, but they are incredibly similiar in theme and tone. Secondly, I felt that the ending and explanation was very neatly wrapped up in a bow, perhaps a little too neatly.
These are minor complaints, however, and overall I'd heartily recommend this film as a chilling and intelligent ghost story.
Tomorrow Morning: Tin-frickin-Tin
At time of typing this blog entry, I'm a few lines away from finishing the last episode of the second season of Resistance. Each episode is forty-two pages long (making an episode roughly forty-two minutes), each season is thirteen episodes, meaning that since I started back in February, I've produced one thousand and ninety two pages of this series. That's a fair amount.
My central superheroes are:
Stonewall - An Earth Elemental with great strength and the ability to manipulate the earth and stone around him. He takes on the leadership role of the team.
Rush - An Air Elemental who has similiar powers to Stonewall, but based around air. She's the only one who can fly. Acts as Stonewall's surrogate daughter.
Maelstrom - A freak accident has invested her with a constantly moving air wave, resulting in hurricanes if she loses control. Emotionally unstable, a British Exile.
Regiment - A Russian Genetic Weapon, a soldier who can multiply himself and act as a small army by himself. Deserted his post but remains loyal in his heart.
Network - A martial arts expert who uses a super-computer and a chemical in the water to take control of people's minds and bodies. Morally ambiguous, also rich.
They're a fractous team that didn't even properly assemble until the end of the first season. They've faced greedy businessmen with their own armies, giant telepathic crystals from space, enemy settlements and a great deal of wandering supers who either want to kill them or steal their stuff.
Pretty standard, really.
The setting is a city called Resistance, built not far from the Great Lakes. In this world, the Divided Russians and Britain are the super-powers that are in a state of conflict over the remains of what was once America. Freaks and monsters prowl the wastes and Transtates (people with super-powers) aren't trusted at all.
It's the kind of series I would watch, and there's no other reason as to why I'm writing it, really. It wouldn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of ever getting made, but it entertains my friends and myself, so I can't really ask any more of it, can I? Got three more seasons of it planned as well, all to be done next year.
THE AWAKENING.
Now, as British films go, I was incredibly impressed with the style and presentation of this movie. The Brits, we love a period piece and to see something set post-WW1 with ghosts was a treat. This was a very well put together film with some excellent pacing and some good acting.
Ever since he got back from that over-hyped borefest The Wire, Dominic West has been doing some really great work, exercising those distinctive dimples to the max. In this film he plays a war veteran turned boarding school teacher who tracks down a professional Ghost Disprover.
The reason why? His school has a ghost, so it would seem, and he wants her to deal with it. Rebecca Hall (who is just gorgeous, by the way) is she, and she promptly sets about looking for the 'ghost', eager to prove that no such thing exists. The only problem is that she's starting to see the very things that she normally does her best to discredit.
I very much enjoyed this film, but there were a number of points that I felt stuck out. Firstly, it felt very close to Spanish film 'The Orphanage'. I'd say that the Orphanage is a notch above this, but they are incredibly similiar in theme and tone. Secondly, I felt that the ending and explanation was very neatly wrapped up in a bow, perhaps a little too neatly.
These are minor complaints, however, and overall I'd heartily recommend this film as a chilling and intelligent ghost story.
Tomorrow Morning: Tin-frickin-Tin
Imperia
Decided that for this post I want to talk about my current writing project (since I'm gonna try and get it published in January). Imperia is a project that came out of the blue a short while ago, inspired by seeing a trailer for Total War: Napoleon. Always found Napoleon Bonaparte to be one of the most fascinating of historical characters (mainly 'cause of Sharpe...), so I started to think what would have happened if he'd won, if he'd achieved the empire that he'd dreamed of. So that's what Imperia is, it's the legacy of Napoleon.
The story goes that in 1799, a young British officer is killed during a night attack on the Indian fortress of Seringapatam by a stray bullet. Thus, that young officer never became the Duke of Wellington, thus the rest of Europe became easy meat for Bonaparte, who was only matched by Wellington. He conqured Spain, Britain, Germany, Poland, Italy, Egypt, Greece, then went on into Russia. He died campaigning in China in 1832. The super-nation that he left behind was Imperia, the largest nation on the face of the Earth.
Of course, it's not just an alternate history in my story, I wanted to put in as many pulp sci-fi elements that I could. Being alternate history is pulpy in itself, but there's a whole lot more. Namely an alien scavenger fleet from a race called the Kahin, the horrific Phenomenon that spreads through pain and the Church-sanctioned Heaven Men, all playing a part.
The story will start at the beginning of the Second World War, but it'll be a very different War to the one we've read about in the history books. The idea will be that most of the short stories (it takes the form of a collection of shorts all based around the same subject) will be an event from the actual WW2, then altered to fit the new history. The best example I can give is the Miracle of Dunkirk will be come known instead as the Massacre of Dunkerque, because events there went very, very differently. The rest I'll research as I go along with it. Naturally, a fair few will be made up to fit with the various supernatural or sci-fi elements that the whole series is about in the first place.
So yeah... WW2 with aliens, werewolves, laser guns, super-heroes and a whole bunch of different country names. It's also lacking one major thing... Nazis.
I should also mention that at the moment I am very much enjoying the work of Madam KT Tunstall, who is very good to write to. On with the film review then.
THE IDES OF MARCH
By the time I saw this film, this was the 3rd movie I'd actually had to pay to see this year, the other two being massive disappointments (Green Lantern and Conan the Barbarian). This one made them worth it. Ides is a slick, smooth, dark political thriller about intelligence, sex and corruption, the corner stones of American politics. Damn you George Clooney, you're a real triple threat now (actor, director, writer).
We follow young Stephen (played by Ryan Gosling, who's on something of a streak at the moment), a Junior Campaign Manager for Mike Morris (George Clooney), who is running for President. When he becomes involved with a blonde intern, the idealism of his politics is utterly shaken as he finds that his hero, Morris, is not as squeaky clean as he'd thought. At first he seems to be dragged into this seedy world, then he jumps in.
This film is about how far a working man will go for his job, I think. He's good at his job, he wants to do it and he wants to be the best at is, so therefore he will sacrifice anything and anyone to get there. My friend Kerry said that he found the ending anti-climactic because 'it's what anyone would have done', he said. I'm not sure I agree with that, since not many of us are in the same position. I think if faced with that situation, I'm not sure most of us would have been as ruthless as Stephen found himself to be. I know that I probably wouldn't have been.
Any film that makes you question if you could do the same... well, that's all it has to do to impress me. This was a well written, well acted, very tragic story about personal collapse and re-emergance. I highly recommend.
Later today: THE AWAKENING
The story goes that in 1799, a young British officer is killed during a night attack on the Indian fortress of Seringapatam by a stray bullet. Thus, that young officer never became the Duke of Wellington, thus the rest of Europe became easy meat for Bonaparte, who was only matched by Wellington. He conqured Spain, Britain, Germany, Poland, Italy, Egypt, Greece, then went on into Russia. He died campaigning in China in 1832. The super-nation that he left behind was Imperia, the largest nation on the face of the Earth.
Of course, it's not just an alternate history in my story, I wanted to put in as many pulp sci-fi elements that I could. Being alternate history is pulpy in itself, but there's a whole lot more. Namely an alien scavenger fleet from a race called the Kahin, the horrific Phenomenon that spreads through pain and the Church-sanctioned Heaven Men, all playing a part.
The story will start at the beginning of the Second World War, but it'll be a very different War to the one we've read about in the history books. The idea will be that most of the short stories (it takes the form of a collection of shorts all based around the same subject) will be an event from the actual WW2, then altered to fit the new history. The best example I can give is the Miracle of Dunkirk will be come known instead as the Massacre of Dunkerque, because events there went very, very differently. The rest I'll research as I go along with it. Naturally, a fair few will be made up to fit with the various supernatural or sci-fi elements that the whole series is about in the first place.
So yeah... WW2 with aliens, werewolves, laser guns, super-heroes and a whole bunch of different country names. It's also lacking one major thing... Nazis.
I should also mention that at the moment I am very much enjoying the work of Madam KT Tunstall, who is very good to write to. On with the film review then.
THE IDES OF MARCH
By the time I saw this film, this was the 3rd movie I'd actually had to pay to see this year, the other two being massive disappointments (Green Lantern and Conan the Barbarian). This one made them worth it. Ides is a slick, smooth, dark political thriller about intelligence, sex and corruption, the corner stones of American politics. Damn you George Clooney, you're a real triple threat now (actor, director, writer).
We follow young Stephen (played by Ryan Gosling, who's on something of a streak at the moment), a Junior Campaign Manager for Mike Morris (George Clooney), who is running for President. When he becomes involved with a blonde intern, the idealism of his politics is utterly shaken as he finds that his hero, Morris, is not as squeaky clean as he'd thought. At first he seems to be dragged into this seedy world, then he jumps in.
This film is about how far a working man will go for his job, I think. He's good at his job, he wants to do it and he wants to be the best at is, so therefore he will sacrifice anything and anyone to get there. My friend Kerry said that he found the ending anti-climactic because 'it's what anyone would have done', he said. I'm not sure I agree with that, since not many of us are in the same position. I think if faced with that situation, I'm not sure most of us would have been as ruthless as Stephen found himself to be. I know that I probably wouldn't have been.
Any film that makes you question if you could do the same... well, that's all it has to do to impress me. This was a well written, well acted, very tragic story about personal collapse and re-emergance. I highly recommend.
Later today: THE AWAKENING
Monday, 26 December 2011
Supposedly A Writer
It occurs to me that I'm supposed to be a writer. I just graduated from Universiry with a Batchelor of Arts (with Honours) Degree in Screenwriting, so I should probably pretend that I could be a real writer, one that does it for money or something like that. So as of the New Year, I'm making the pledge to myself that I will try to get my novel published. I know that I studied screenwriting, not novelwriting, but at the same time, I've got this done and I'm happy with it, so I want to try and get it out there. What is it, I hear you ask? Well, I shall reveal all.
Tomorrow.
I'm gonna dedicate the next few posts (and random others throughout next year) to what writing projects I'm working on, how I feel they're doing and what they're all about. I'm kinda doing this out of ego, and also because I just really want to talk about them, mainly because I feel my genius will be lost if nobody knows about it. I've already got a few fans of my garbled words, so I may as well big myself up a bit about them. This blog post is mainly filler, of course, a thinly disguised attempt at getting through all the movie reviews that I've got left to do for the year.
My ambition would be to get a script gig at some point in my future, but if I don't make it, I'd like to know that at least some people thought of me as a writer.
For those who are interested in my scripts and stories, you can ask me for some and I'll do my best to send it to you and you can make up your own minds on them.
For now...
WE NEED TO
TALK ABOUT
KEVIN
I can sum up the feeling of watching We Need To Talk About Kevin in one easy reaction. I genuinely felt after this movie had concluded that I should call my mother and apologise. I don't know what I should apologise for, but God Damn did I feel the need to. So you know what? I did exactly that.
If I hadn't seen Senna earlier this year, then I would probably be touting the Film Of The Year card right now, but with careful consideration I'd say that this is easily top five material. It's cold, unsettling, brutal, empathic, voyeuristic and masochistic all at the same time.
This film has enough malice to make me shudder in fear, enough weight to crush me beneath it and enough acting talent to make Brando take a step back and hold up his hands. Easily the film of Tilda Swinton's career, newcomer Ezra Miller is chilling and even John C. Rielly manages to pull a straight role.
This is a movie I'm hesitant about recommending, simply because I'm not sure how many people have the stomach for it. It is most certainly one that will test its audiance's limits with sadism and sociopathy. I liked it, but I wouldn't be in a rush to watch it again, to be completely honest with you.
Next blog: THE IDES OF MARCH.
Tomorrow.
I'm gonna dedicate the next few posts (and random others throughout next year) to what writing projects I'm working on, how I feel they're doing and what they're all about. I'm kinda doing this out of ego, and also because I just really want to talk about them, mainly because I feel my genius will be lost if nobody knows about it. I've already got a few fans of my garbled words, so I may as well big myself up a bit about them. This blog post is mainly filler, of course, a thinly disguised attempt at getting through all the movie reviews that I've got left to do for the year.
My ambition would be to get a script gig at some point in my future, but if I don't make it, I'd like to know that at least some people thought of me as a writer.
For those who are interested in my scripts and stories, you can ask me for some and I'll do my best to send it to you and you can make up your own minds on them.
For now...
WE NEED TO
TALK ABOUT
KEVIN
I can sum up the feeling of watching We Need To Talk About Kevin in one easy reaction. I genuinely felt after this movie had concluded that I should call my mother and apologise. I don't know what I should apologise for, but God Damn did I feel the need to. So you know what? I did exactly that.
If I hadn't seen Senna earlier this year, then I would probably be touting the Film Of The Year card right now, but with careful consideration I'd say that this is easily top five material. It's cold, unsettling, brutal, empathic, voyeuristic and masochistic all at the same time.
This film has enough malice to make me shudder in fear, enough weight to crush me beneath it and enough acting talent to make Brando take a step back and hold up his hands. Easily the film of Tilda Swinton's career, newcomer Ezra Miller is chilling and even John C. Rielly manages to pull a straight role.
This is a movie I'm hesitant about recommending, simply because I'm not sure how many people have the stomach for it. It is most certainly one that will test its audiance's limits with sadism and sociopathy. I liked it, but I wouldn't be in a rush to watch it again, to be completely honest with you.
Next blog: THE IDES OF MARCH.
Giver Of Gifts
As Tim pointed out, we but peolpe Christmas presents because we expect them in return. Tim got me three xbox games for Christmas (after the droll hilarity of passing an HMV gift card between the two of us), none of which were all that cheap. So... that would mean that in order to truly acknowledge what he was after, I would have to spend more money on him (a sometime irritating co-worker and fellow gamer nerd) than I would on members of my close family.
That seems a bit... greedy, doesn't it? I mean, surely giving away that kind of stuff in the first place means that I'm now obliged to return something of roughly equal value (which he didn't get, since he got roughly the same for my brother and we teamed up to get him stuff that was roughly equal to one of our gift packages). But if I simply can't afford that (which I can), or if I simply don't want to get him that, should I have to?
He's been trying to get me to acknowledge the spirit of Christmas for a while now, and he hasn't really succeeded, but he did get me some bitching xbox games, so I guess that I'll fork out for some stuff for him. It'd be rude and unseasonal not to. But next year? Oh next year he's going on the same £30 budget that I get everyone's gifts from, no matter what he pulls out of his hat. I always figure that if you can't do it for £30, why do it?
THE FADES.
As I said a couple of months back, I'm not doing my TV blog anymore, instead I'm gonna talk about the occasional show in here. Well, The Fades is the first example of that that I'm gonna do. This show came out of nowhere on the BBC, written by the Jack Thorne (veteran of This Is England follow up series '86 and now '88, as well as doing some work on Skins and Cast Offs) and starring a bunch of people that were familiar British TV faces. Daniel Kaluuya had been on Skins playing a similiar character, Joe Dempsie was another Skins graduate, Tom Ellis has been on more TV shows in the last few years than many camera crews, Natalie Dormer was in Silk, The Tudors and even frickin' Captain America and I know that I recognise Clare Rushbrook from somewhere, but can't recall where.
Only real newcomers for me were Ian de Caestecker as the lead, Paul, and Johnny Harris. I then discovered that Johnny Harris is awesome and I want him to be in everything.
So, this show is basically GIEST: THE SIN-EATERS, the TV series. It's about a boy who grows angelic powers to fight ghosts and be torn between that and his family life.
Sounds simple, and it is. It's brilliantly effective, overly cheeky and exceptionally nerdy. It has all the right beats, all the correct pacing to make this a great show.
The absolute crowner of the series is the final episode, not for the actual climax (which was great), but because it really, really showed up Steven Moffat and Toby Whithouse, who showrun for Doctor Who and Being Human respectively. You know why? Because unlike those two shows, the final episode of the The Fades was the natural and explosive culmination of all the events that had come before it in the series. You'd think that'd be bog standard for a TV series, but no, Moffat and Whithouse had this tendency to go completely bananas and set the last episode in a different town with no pacing or to create a pointless sub-universe of all time crashing together or some other utterly random show-breaking episode that had nothing to do with the episodes that came before it.
Funny how that makes things better.
If I had a couple of complaints about The Fades, then it'd be that the show didn't get the best out of Ian de Caestecker (who proved a much better actor in Young James Herriot), and made him feel wooden to the audience. Mac's 'Previously On' sections were at first endearing and then fucking irritating, especially since it was him, in the second episode, that introduced to the term 'Angelics', not in the actual continuity of the series itself. Tom Ellis' character was, while well played and well thought out, ultimately pointless to the series, I felt. Also it seemed to only take five minutes for a person to go from person, to Fade, to Reborn, then become a cannibalistic version of themselves, but I guess that was so they could reuse actors quite happily, something I don't blame them for.
So yeah, I am eagerly hoping for a new series next year, because the way it ended certainly deserved it, as did the characters themselves. More Johnny Harris. More Johnny Harris now.
Next up: WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN
That seems a bit... greedy, doesn't it? I mean, surely giving away that kind of stuff in the first place means that I'm now obliged to return something of roughly equal value (which he didn't get, since he got roughly the same for my brother and we teamed up to get him stuff that was roughly equal to one of our gift packages). But if I simply can't afford that (which I can), or if I simply don't want to get him that, should I have to?
He's been trying to get me to acknowledge the spirit of Christmas for a while now, and he hasn't really succeeded, but he did get me some bitching xbox games, so I guess that I'll fork out for some stuff for him. It'd be rude and unseasonal not to. But next year? Oh next year he's going on the same £30 budget that I get everyone's gifts from, no matter what he pulls out of his hat. I always figure that if you can't do it for £30, why do it?
THE FADES.
As I said a couple of months back, I'm not doing my TV blog anymore, instead I'm gonna talk about the occasional show in here. Well, The Fades is the first example of that that I'm gonna do. This show came out of nowhere on the BBC, written by the Jack Thorne (veteran of This Is England follow up series '86 and now '88, as well as doing some work on Skins and Cast Offs) and starring a bunch of people that were familiar British TV faces. Daniel Kaluuya had been on Skins playing a similiar character, Joe Dempsie was another Skins graduate, Tom Ellis has been on more TV shows in the last few years than many camera crews, Natalie Dormer was in Silk, The Tudors and even frickin' Captain America and I know that I recognise Clare Rushbrook from somewhere, but can't recall where.
Only real newcomers for me were Ian de Caestecker as the lead, Paul, and Johnny Harris. I then discovered that Johnny Harris is awesome and I want him to be in everything.
So, this show is basically GIEST: THE SIN-EATERS, the TV series. It's about a boy who grows angelic powers to fight ghosts and be torn between that and his family life.
Sounds simple, and it is. It's brilliantly effective, overly cheeky and exceptionally nerdy. It has all the right beats, all the correct pacing to make this a great show.
The absolute crowner of the series is the final episode, not for the actual climax (which was great), but because it really, really showed up Steven Moffat and Toby Whithouse, who showrun for Doctor Who and Being Human respectively. You know why? Because unlike those two shows, the final episode of the The Fades was the natural and explosive culmination of all the events that had come before it in the series. You'd think that'd be bog standard for a TV series, but no, Moffat and Whithouse had this tendency to go completely bananas and set the last episode in a different town with no pacing or to create a pointless sub-universe of all time crashing together or some other utterly random show-breaking episode that had nothing to do with the episodes that came before it.
Funny how that makes things better.
If I had a couple of complaints about The Fades, then it'd be that the show didn't get the best out of Ian de Caestecker (who proved a much better actor in Young James Herriot), and made him feel wooden to the audience. Mac's 'Previously On' sections were at first endearing and then fucking irritating, especially since it was him, in the second episode, that introduced to the term 'Angelics', not in the actual continuity of the series itself. Tom Ellis' character was, while well played and well thought out, ultimately pointless to the series, I felt. Also it seemed to only take five minutes for a person to go from person, to Fade, to Reborn, then become a cannibalistic version of themselves, but I guess that was so they could reuse actors quite happily, something I don't blame them for.
So yeah, I am eagerly hoping for a new series next year, because the way it ended certainly deserved it, as did the characters themselves. More Johnny Harris. More Johnny Harris now.
Next up: WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN
Sunday, 25 December 2011
The Weather Outside Is Frightful
Gonna try to lighten the mood, I appreciate that last one probably wasn't much fun to read, not even for me looking back at it.
It's true, I don't like this time of year for all the reasons above, I don't like how we go mad for something that is ultimately about shops trying to make as much money as possible. I don't like being dictated to about my damn emotional state.
But Christmas, once upon a time, was a day for walking down the street and being able to say 'Merry Christmas' to everyone you saw and they'd say it back to you. That's what it should be all about. To be honest, I want the Church to take it back.
I mean, Christmas is a Christian tradition in the first place (designed to co-incide with the Winter Solstice) and I think that, quite frankly, we should ackowledge where it came from, what with Jesus and all that. It's his birthday, right?
Did you know that the twelve days of Christmas (as the song implies) go from December 25th to January 5th. That December 1st to December 24th is actually called Advent? See, if these things were more commonly known, I think I'd prefer that.
But that doesn't sell toys and iphones, does it? Also, I just don't really like mince pies. Ick. So I spent my Christmas with my brother, watching all 4 Die Hard movies (2 of them are seasonal, after all) and failing to eat all of the steak I brought with me. Who needs turkey, after all, eh?
BEAUTIFUL LIES.
As I said with Potiche, why do anyone who isn't French make Romantic Comedies? I mean, the concept for this is hardly overwhelmingly original, but it's pulled off with such style, finesse and charm that it just doesn't matter. This is a perfectly servicable film showing off the considerable talents of Miss Audrey 'Amilie' Tautou and the gorgeous Nathalie Baye.
The twisting plot follows tormented and overly talented Jean writing a love letter to Emilie (Tautou) and then not having the courage to sign it. She then gets freaked out by it and, in an attempt to break her mother (Baye) out of her depressed slump, forwards it to her, pretending that it was for her all along. Thus ensues a convoluted yet endearing story of mistaken identity.
The jokes are underplayed, the characters are rounded and the look of it stylish, typical French. Why does anyone who isn't French bother to make Romantic Comedies? I highly recommend it, it's a good one.
Next up: THE FADES.
It's true, I don't like this time of year for all the reasons above, I don't like how we go mad for something that is ultimately about shops trying to make as much money as possible. I don't like being dictated to about my damn emotional state.
But Christmas, once upon a time, was a day for walking down the street and being able to say 'Merry Christmas' to everyone you saw and they'd say it back to you. That's what it should be all about. To be honest, I want the Church to take it back.
I mean, Christmas is a Christian tradition in the first place (designed to co-incide with the Winter Solstice) and I think that, quite frankly, we should ackowledge where it came from, what with Jesus and all that. It's his birthday, right?
Did you know that the twelve days of Christmas (as the song implies) go from December 25th to January 5th. That December 1st to December 24th is actually called Advent? See, if these things were more commonly known, I think I'd prefer that.
But that doesn't sell toys and iphones, does it? Also, I just don't really like mince pies. Ick. So I spent my Christmas with my brother, watching all 4 Die Hard movies (2 of them are seasonal, after all) and failing to eat all of the steak I brought with me. Who needs turkey, after all, eh?
BEAUTIFUL LIES.
As I said with Potiche, why do anyone who isn't French make Romantic Comedies? I mean, the concept for this is hardly overwhelmingly original, but it's pulled off with such style, finesse and charm that it just doesn't matter. This is a perfectly servicable film showing off the considerable talents of Miss Audrey 'Amilie' Tautou and the gorgeous Nathalie Baye.
The twisting plot follows tormented and overly talented Jean writing a love letter to Emilie (Tautou) and then not having the courage to sign it. She then gets freaked out by it and, in an attempt to break her mother (Baye) out of her depressed slump, forwards it to her, pretending that it was for her all along. Thus ensues a convoluted yet endearing story of mistaken identity.
The jokes are underplayed, the characters are rounded and the look of it stylish, typical French. Why does anyone who isn't French bother to make Romantic Comedies? I highly recommend it, it's a good one.
Next up: THE FADES.
Bah Frickin' Humbug
I'm not one for the Christmas spirit, I think most people who know me well should know that by now. I'm a 'Mr. Grumpy Gills' according to Newgirl and a grouch to everyone else. The thing is, I don't care what people say to point out that I'm 'wrong' about Christmas... I still fuckin' hate Christmas.
Why should I like it? I mean, any other time of year, if every single shop and pub and cafe in the country were playing the same twenty two songs (with multiple different versions of each) over and over again for at least five weeks, people would go insane about it, they'd call it madness.
But no, it's Christmas.
It's the most stressful and busy time of the year for the vast majority of people, considering that most people in the retail and service industries have to work their arses off to cater for all the kids who go absolutely mental every ten minutes.
It's easily officially the most depressing time of year, I bet that if you looked up the statistics on national suicide rates, where do you think they'd all be focussed, eh? My own brother is going through a dark patch at the moment, so don't I know.
The inane traditions of spending inordinate amounts of money on gifts for people that probably won't appreciate them, the rampant commercialism that killed the actaul spirit of Goodwill To All Men quite some time ago, the late night shopping, the early opening hours, the blinking lights...
I hate Christmas. I really do.
For me this year it's been stressful in the extreme. Between December 5th and December 24th I didn't get a day off, so that's 20 straight days working, I had three rounds of dental surgery on my half days and I had to juggle moving house with constantly trying to arrange a Christmas for my brother. It's been a hard, gruelling slog and you know the worst part?
Everyone keeps telling you to be happy. They tell you to cheer up, not be grumpy. As if they somehow have to the divine right to dictate to you how you should feel, everyone keeps telling you that it's Christmas, so you have to be happy. Well, here's my personal message to all those people who think that just 'cause it's Christmas, you have to be happy:
Fuck you. Fuck off.
Merry fucking Christmas.
THE SMURFS.
Believe it or not, but this isn't quite the bile fest I thought it would be. I'm not entirely sure why anyone thought it was neccessary to make a Smurfs movie, but it's not truly terrible. I didn't think that it was really bad in any way, but at the same time I don't really think it's all that great.
The animation was average and the plot was basic, the vague kid-friendly messages were all a little heavy handed and didn't really contribute to the film. I found Hank Azaria's performance of Gargamel to be irritating at best, while I felt that Neil Patrick Harris was scraping the bottom of the barrel.
It's a bright, cheery film with at least one unexpected moment of true epicness and a pleasing ability for self parody when it comes to the history of the Smurfs in publication, but all in all it's no great loss to your education if you miss this one. Nice idea with the Blue Moon and all that.
Next up: Beautiful Lies
Why should I like it? I mean, any other time of year, if every single shop and pub and cafe in the country were playing the same twenty two songs (with multiple different versions of each) over and over again for at least five weeks, people would go insane about it, they'd call it madness.
But no, it's Christmas.
It's the most stressful and busy time of the year for the vast majority of people, considering that most people in the retail and service industries have to work their arses off to cater for all the kids who go absolutely mental every ten minutes.
It's easily officially the most depressing time of year, I bet that if you looked up the statistics on national suicide rates, where do you think they'd all be focussed, eh? My own brother is going through a dark patch at the moment, so don't I know.
The inane traditions of spending inordinate amounts of money on gifts for people that probably won't appreciate them, the rampant commercialism that killed the actaul spirit of Goodwill To All Men quite some time ago, the late night shopping, the early opening hours, the blinking lights...
I hate Christmas. I really do.
For me this year it's been stressful in the extreme. Between December 5th and December 24th I didn't get a day off, so that's 20 straight days working, I had three rounds of dental surgery on my half days and I had to juggle moving house with constantly trying to arrange a Christmas for my brother. It's been a hard, gruelling slog and you know the worst part?
Everyone keeps telling you to be happy. They tell you to cheer up, not be grumpy. As if they somehow have to the divine right to dictate to you how you should feel, everyone keeps telling you that it's Christmas, so you have to be happy. Well, here's my personal message to all those people who think that just 'cause it's Christmas, you have to be happy:
Fuck you. Fuck off.
Merry fucking Christmas.
THE SMURFS.
Believe it or not, but this isn't quite the bile fest I thought it would be. I'm not entirely sure why anyone thought it was neccessary to make a Smurfs movie, but it's not truly terrible. I didn't think that it was really bad in any way, but at the same time I don't really think it's all that great.
The animation was average and the plot was basic, the vague kid-friendly messages were all a little heavy handed and didn't really contribute to the film. I found Hank Azaria's performance of Gargamel to be irritating at best, while I felt that Neil Patrick Harris was scraping the bottom of the barrel.
It's a bright, cheery film with at least one unexpected moment of true epicness and a pleasing ability for self parody when it comes to the history of the Smurfs in publication, but all in all it's no great loss to your education if you miss this one. Nice idea with the Blue Moon and all that.
Next up: Beautiful Lies
Saturday, 24 December 2011
20 Days Straight
So why haven't I been blogging lately? Probably because I've been working for 20 days straight and I'm too tired to sleep, think, count and in some cases eat.
It's panto season at work and that means kids everywhere, screaming and shouting as if they own the place. The only thing worse that kids are their parents.
I mean, we charge £4.50 for a flashing light spinner thing that'll break within a week and the kids will forget they own before then and you know what? They pay it. I mean, they will do anything to get their kids to shut up when they're out at the panto and it makes me both vindicated and depressed.
The cafe's doing okay, very busy before shows. So far no sign of a franchise looking to take over the place, but potentially around March time. To be honest, I don't want them to find one, we can do it ourselves, I reckon, and I definately want to keep hold of my shiny new supervisor position, naturally!
And now I'm on a train, bringing a chiller bag full of Christmas dinner up to Bath so that me and my brother can spend the only day off I get this month together.
Ah... sod it.
KIND HEARTS AND CORONETS.
Once a season, the Corn Exchange shows a classic film from the years of yore. I'm pretty sure that this choice was related to Alec Guinness being in Tinker, Tailor back in the day and that we've just been showing the new Tinker, Tailor. Whatever the reason, I'm ridiculously glad I got the chance to see this movie on the big screen. Quite frankly, they just don't make them like this anymore. This film is an absolute treasure.
We follow the vengeful adventures of Louis Mazzini, the long lost distant relative of a powerful family that is all played by Sir Alec Guinness. Genuinely, the man plays eight different parts in this film and they're all brilliant. Mazzini feels robbed by the family, since he isn't acknowledged in their eyes at all, so he sets himself the task of becoming the head of the family, the Duke of Chalfont. He does this through murder.
Lots and lots of murder.
And it's hilarious in a very dark way, it's witty and charming and ever so smooth. The only real problems I had with this movie were the near constant narration (but then, the frame of the movie is Mazzini writing his memoirs just before his execution) and the fact that the Admiral Horatio D'Ascoyne drowns in an incident that has nothing to do with Mazzini's revenge, but his death was neccessary. If maybe Mazzini had just had some small part in it... eh, it doesn't matter. It's still a beautifully thoughtful and well put together movie that's well worth your time to look up.
Next time: The Smurfs.
It's panto season at work and that means kids everywhere, screaming and shouting as if they own the place. The only thing worse that kids are their parents.
I mean, we charge £4.50 for a flashing light spinner thing that'll break within a week and the kids will forget they own before then and you know what? They pay it. I mean, they will do anything to get their kids to shut up when they're out at the panto and it makes me both vindicated and depressed.
The cafe's doing okay, very busy before shows. So far no sign of a franchise looking to take over the place, but potentially around March time. To be honest, I don't want them to find one, we can do it ourselves, I reckon, and I definately want to keep hold of my shiny new supervisor position, naturally!
And now I'm on a train, bringing a chiller bag full of Christmas dinner up to Bath so that me and my brother can spend the only day off I get this month together.
Ah... sod it.
KIND HEARTS AND CORONETS.
Once a season, the Corn Exchange shows a classic film from the years of yore. I'm pretty sure that this choice was related to Alec Guinness being in Tinker, Tailor back in the day and that we've just been showing the new Tinker, Tailor. Whatever the reason, I'm ridiculously glad I got the chance to see this movie on the big screen. Quite frankly, they just don't make them like this anymore. This film is an absolute treasure.
We follow the vengeful adventures of Louis Mazzini, the long lost distant relative of a powerful family that is all played by Sir Alec Guinness. Genuinely, the man plays eight different parts in this film and they're all brilliant. Mazzini feels robbed by the family, since he isn't acknowledged in their eyes at all, so he sets himself the task of becoming the head of the family, the Duke of Chalfont. He does this through murder.
Lots and lots of murder.
And it's hilarious in a very dark way, it's witty and charming and ever so smooth. The only real problems I had with this movie were the near constant narration (but then, the frame of the movie is Mazzini writing his memoirs just before his execution) and the fact that the Admiral Horatio D'Ascoyne drowns in an incident that has nothing to do with Mazzini's revenge, but his death was neccessary. If maybe Mazzini had just had some small part in it... eh, it doesn't matter. It's still a beautifully thoughtful and well put together movie that's well worth your time to look up.
Next time: The Smurfs.
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