Thursday, 23 June 2011

Outside Reflex at 2am

Without any reaon I actually find myself scribbling this blog post into my notebook at 2am outside Reflex nightclub in Southampton. It's my last night with Will Sale, who's been a true friend these last three years. It's my firm hope that he does well in life, I think he deserves it.

With the bathroom now taking up most of my waking moments, it's good to have some time to hang out with the few friends I have left in this town. To continue from my last post's maudlin thought pattern, I wonder if I'll see Will again. But I guess I won't know the answer to that anytime soon.

Since I became irresistable to women, Reflex seems to have become the apex of my powers. Whenever I'm there, at least one female will physically express interest in me, which would have been great about five years ago. Sorry drunk girls, but this ship sailed quite some time ago, I'm afriad.

What crap am I writing now?

ATTACK THE BLOCK.

The most interesting thing about this movie, from what I've seen, is the way it breaks down 'chav' groups. For every one Moses (an actual hard-arse street kid), there's four or five loud-mouths that follow him around and do all the shouting, while Moses himself stays quiet and gets it done. That's the thing I noticed about this film. Not to say that the rest of it wasn't noticable. The aliens look pretty funky, the action is overblown, ridiculous and pretty funny, while the style of the film comes across as a very confident loving knock at sci-fi horror in general.

This is Joe Cornish's first film, so it's got some rough edges, there were some minor characters that probably weren't neccessary, the class division was a little too noticable and a couple of the lines didn't really work. Moses at one point says that the monsters are probably from the government 'to kill black boys, 'cause we aren't killing ourselves fast enough'. I wasn't sure that actually fitte with the rest of the film, being a fun romp through aliens attacking a south london tower block, taking into something that should probably have come from the pen of Noel Clarke.

Can't say much more about this movie other than it's fun, it's a bit stupid, it's plenty violent and it's entertaining. Can a movie really do any more than that?

Next up: X-MEN FIRST CLASS

Thursday, 16 June 2011

And I May Never See You Again...

Less than a month until our results, less than two weeks until I move away from Southampton, less than a day until several of my friends are gone and I may not see them again. Nobody's ever accused me of being sentimental and I'll never really think of myself as touchy-feely, but this sort of thing does make me a little sad. There's always people saying 'oh, of course we'll meet up again' and 'sure, we'll see each other again', but until it happens I'm never convinced.

Call me heartless, but now that we've parted ways, I don't really expect to see them again. So call it a goodbye if you wish, but Laura and Martin, you've been great friends to me in your own ways over the last three years, both together and apart. We've still got blogging and late night bonfires, we've still got memories of sitting in the Fat Cat at 2 in the afternoon when we should have been doing something productive. And you both suck at Mini-Golf compared to my immense skills.

I look back at the last three years and I consider the relationships I've had with my friends, the people I never thought I'd get on with, the people that used to be very close and then drifted away, the ones that have been there from the start and haven't really gone anywhere. Friendship's a funny thing. I recall seeing a study that said elderly people find socialising with people their own age actually more fulfilling than their grandchildren. Yeah, I've always thought that to be the case, really. All you need in life are friends, no matter what form they take.

So here's to friends.

PRIEST.

Heheheheheheheheh. That's pretty much my opinion on this film. It's cheesy, it's fast, it's silly, it's blatantly plaigerist and I frickin' loved it. I mean, you can look at Paul Bettany, a well-respected, very serious and extremely talented actor and you wonder why he's doing a film like this? Well there's not much to it, really, when you've played Darwin and the Prince of Orange, why not kick the crap out of some CGI vampires while you've still got the physique for it?

This isn't a film that's meant to be taken seriously, it's about a super-powered priest who hunts vampires. That's about it, really. Oh, and it's in a post-apocalyptic future. I did quite like the way the vampires looked in this particular incarnation (they didn't sparkle), a sort of weird animal creature that doesn't have any eyes. When Karl Urban shows up as 'the Human Vampire', called simply Black Hat due to his choice in headgear, it's pretty clear where we stand with this film.

We're all just here to have some fun. Yes, it's got far too much Christian symbolism, yes, there's far too much schlocky action and yes, there's no real depth to this film beyond 'I really hate vampires'. But hey, it's here for a laugh.

Also, the 3D sucks, but what else is new?

Next time I whine about: ATTACK THE BLOCK

Sunday, 12 June 2011

Bathroom Blues

So other than experiancing absentee tennants who think that just because they're in Finland for a month they don't have to pay the rent, my main source of frustration that I can feel building behind the eyes is the upcoming bathroom renovation. It's good that my nice new tennants shall be recieving the fruits of our labours to bathe, ablute and wash themselves in, but I don't really get the chance to use it, for when I'm done, I'll be moving.

So apparently a new bathtub, multiple taps, a toilet, some basins, a shedload of wall tiles and a couple other bits are all making their laborous way towards my flat in the form of multiple deliveries over the next week and I shall have to be in to recieve them. I have a feeling that the flat's going to fill up with a lot of carboard boxes pretty soon, just like a repeat of last year, when we did the sodding kitchen. I live life on the edge.

Still, that's not for another week or so.

I'm struggling to think of things to actually write down, which is pretty normal for my and this blog. I normally think of something decent and connected to have said about 5 minutes after I hit 'publish', then promise myself I'll use it in the next post and promptly forget all about it. I'm currently doing three times the daily amount of my writing schedule, in order to make up for the two and a half weeks where I could do no writing (what with my power cable being on the fritz and all). Ahm... yeah, that's about it, really.

HANNA.

Stylised. That's the word that instantly leaps to mind. Stylised and a little bit over-the-top at that. The film is about a little girl who is the world's best assassin, raised by her father in the wilderness of the arctic. Her father (Eric Bana) has a grudge against the head of a division of the CIA (Cate Blanchett in a role I felt might have been better suited to Tilda Swinton) and executes an elaborate plan involving said daughter to kill Blanchett and then disappear once again. It doesn't go to plan, they get seperated and Hanna has to figure out what it is to be an actual human being and all that.

Honestly, this film isn't quite as good as it could have been. If it had maybe been a bit less stylised, if the camera work hadn't been quite as pretentious (yes, I said it), then perhaps this film could have been a real pulse-raiser. As it was, it was perfectly adequate and reasonable, just not all that memorable. The director clearly has a massive crush on Bana, because all the action shots of him are gorgeous, detailed, lavish and brutally powerful, while our young lead (Saorise Ronan) is kind of in the background of her own method of killing.

All in all, a little bit too up itself, but a decent effort. Awesome score by the Chemical Brothers, however.

Next up: PRIEST

Sunday, 5 June 2011

Roll To Hit

So one of my passions is Role-Playing Games and I don't think I've talked too much about this in my blogging time, so if you aren't interested, skip to the film review, because I bet you it'll be better than the last few.

I was first introduced to Role-Playing Games by one of my science teachers back in Secondary School. Mr. Stainrod, you wacky man you. There was a lunchtime club for D&D and I joined with a group of regular players.

And it was awesome.

I remember my first proper character was called Xan, he was a Male Human Fighter (which is something that most people tend to curl their lips up at, but if I had my way it's the only thing I would ever play) and he was pretty suicidal. This I recall with great fondness. That game never really finished, which is pretty much the curse of most games, I've found.

I ran my first game when I was still in school, using many of the same players and including my brother as well. I've got so many story fragment memories tucked into the back of my mind and I'd love to relive them or write them all down some time, but I'm just not sure where they all fit in anymore. But me and Jon will always remember Elath Wild, won't we.

Over the years I kind of forgot roleplay games, I went to college, then to university, I kept up with Warhammer and 40,000, but they weren't quite there to fill the gap properly. When I moved back to newbury in 2004, my friend Andy (from school, with whom I used to game), re-introduced me to gaming and I must thank him forever more. I shouldn't have left it behind.

I'm now more of an ST than I am a player, ST being Story Teller, sometimes known as Game Master or Dungeon Master. Basically, it's my job to come up with the plot, the world, the bad guys and the situations, while my regular core of players (Marsh, Andy, Ade, Jon, Tim and yes they're pretty much all male) come up with characters that fit into that world... then proceed to blow up most of it in alarmingly spectacular fashion. When you find a gaming group that works, well, hold onto them, because there's nothing better than having a group fulfill a storyline that you created, but they have warped and changed into their own. It's really one of the best feelings I've ever had.

Some people would dispute the term 'gaming' with me. I mean, it's a game, as are many other things, but a lot of people who are dedicated to video games would disagree that what we do is 'gaming' compared to them. I guess all I really have to say to that is that imagination has been around a lot longer, and essentially all we're doing is adding dice rolls to the make-believe games you used to play in the schoolyard. In another arguement to the superiority of pencil-and-paper games over computerised role-play games, computer games are limited. They can only cope with so many options, there's only so many things you can do with the decisions presented to you. There's no limit on what we do.

I'm a Role-Player til I die, I will check your Armour Class, I will figure out my Skill Specialties and I will measure my range modifiers against any call of 'nerd' or 'geek' in my general direction. Because it's all in the game. Yo.

THOR

You know, I really wasn't expecting much of this film either. I didn't think that they'd do it much good, many people were saying that the trailers didn't look inspiring (I wisely avoid all trailers that I can, since all they do is ruin movies, as I'm sure I've ranted about already). And you know what, they're wrong. This film was good. It was good.

It wasn't great, it wasn't brilliant, it was mind-blowing, but it was good. It was fast-paced, funny, had the right amount of action and ridiculousness and it did what it set out to do. I believe that it is indeed aimed at a slightly younger audience than Iron Man, but I can live with that, it doesn't talk down to anyone and it certainly works for all viewers.

Thor, the impetuous son of Odin, is cast down to Earth for violating a treaty with the ancient enemies of the Asgard, the Frost Giants. Now these aren't quite the creatures and Gods of Norse myth, quite deliberately so, they do not resemble the legends, they're an advanced society whose time appears to run slightly differently than ours and they dress preposterously.

This is all good as far as I'm concerned. I seem to have found myself awash with 'the ancient Gods live among us' theme lately (which is why I'm working on my own Role-Play adaption for it, because, you know, I haven't ripped off enough stuff for my games), and this film seems to work with it quite well, especially since it's very well aware that the whole different worlds and magic hammers and rainbow bridges is just one part of a massive universe that includes men flying around in iron suits, turning into green genetic accidents and wearing flags on their chests. Oh yes, the Avengers is going to be AWEsome.

The cast is great, the script is great, I happily went to see it twice after saying that I wasn't sure about it the first time round and the great super-hero summer season is begun. With X-Men, Captain America and the dreaded Green Lantern films all hitting the screens soon, I wonder when the next summer blockbuster that doesn't feature a man in a cape will be?

Also, after the credits scene is a must and 3D was a waste of time, but what's new? Oh yes, Hemsworth. He's new. And he's good for it.

Next up: HANNA

Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Computer "Issues"

So I'm having fun with my power cable right now, it only seems to want to work when shoved into a particular position, at a certain angle, when attached in a certain way, beneath a certain alignment of the stars, it would appear.

You may have noticed that I'm ridiculously behind on my blogging, mainly due to an overwhelming sense of apathy, lethargy and laziness that has overtaken me in the weeks since the end of university. How monumentally uninspiring those have been.

I keep telling myself that I'm going to do things like tidy my house more often and read more books while I'm waiting in thie limbo-like period between finishing uni and moving back to Newbury, which I'm experiancing some difficulty with house hunting.

Ach... sod it.

YOUR HIGHNESS

So I started off not really liking this movie, I felt that it was kind of poking fun at D&D and Fantasy movies in general, which are of course things that are dear to my heart, but as it went on I actually started to enjoy it, realising that in order to poke fun at such things, the people who made this movie actually have to kind of like them in the first place. The weird slacker/stoner humour that runs through this movie has never really been my thing, since it's very American and thus quite crude to elitist, refined British tastes.

Basically, Danny McBride is a waste of time brother to a heroic prince who gets to do all the real questing and monster-slaying for their little kingdom, and gets drawn into a quest to go retrieve his brother's bride to be before a dark sorcerer uses her to fulfil a run-of-the-mill evil prophecy yadda-yadda-yadda and all that jazz. There's a lot left to be desired in this film, but once you've settled into it, I think it works, although it probably could have been a bit shorter (but then I seem to think that about a lot of films these days).

Featuring an awesome cast with Charles Dance, Damien Lewis, Zooey Deschanel (oh, there needs to be more Zooey in our lives), Toby Jones, Natalie Portman (who apparently hasn't had a day off since 2007) and mo-fo'ing James Franco, there's a lot to enjoy in here as well. And Minotaur penis. All about the Minotaur penis.

Next up: THOR
(Oh HELLS Yes!)

Saturday, 7 May 2011

Done

Done. Finished. Completed. Finito. Handed in.

Holy Christ, what do I do with my life now?






















A TURTLE'S TALE:
SAMMY'S ADVENTURES.

Honestly? This kind of film is the reason that kids are getting stupider. One of the things that makes me say this is the amount of space between lines of dialogue. It may seem like a little thing, but listen for it in the next film you see, just how much of a pause there is between one actor finishing his line and the next one starting his. Because in good films, there's a fair amount of pausing so that the lines can be considered and digested. In films like this one, it's relayed at you so quickly that you just can't care about what's being said.

(There's an exception to every rule of course and in the case of this rule it's Aaron Sorkin, he can get his guys to talk as fast as he wants.)

This film charts the life of a turtle from hatchling to grandfather (which is voiced by John Hurt, serving as the narrator, he's clearly scraping the bottom of the barrel with films like this). Sammy spends most of his life drifting across the world, looking for his one true love and never really doing anything productive. The film is supposed to educate about the dangers of man contributing to the destruction of the oceans and global warming, but it neatly manages to side-step actually talking about the issues in favour of some poor turtle facial animation.

Basically, if this is the kind of competition that Pixar have to put up with, then they are in absolutely no danger from this quarter. I mean, Dreamworks Animated give them a decent run for their money with stuff like Megamind and How To Train Your Dragon, but this sort of thing is aimed for kids and didn't even entertain all that many of them, from what I saw. I can't quite believe that I saw this film in the end, but here we are, talking about it, using up one of my slots for the month. Could have seen something different. But no, Kren asked me to steward. Sigh.

Next time: YOUR HIGHNESS

Thursday, 28 April 2011

One Week To Go

Yep. Just one week to go before I finish university. I've got a whole 7th draft to do, which'll be done just before hand-in. We've been doing so many read-throughs of all our scripts lately that they're almost about to blend in together, which'll be interesting to see what comes out of those hallucinations!

In other news I've been in Newbury once again to work, and my friend Justine (who lives full time in France) is over to visit again, she's in fact been helping us read through all of our scripts, which I hope hasn't been too boring for her. It's always good to see her, despite the blazing rows we get into regarding chivalry.

Right then... chivalry.

It's pretty much dead, we live in an age where feminism took chivalry and beat it over the head repeatedly until it died, but most women still expect men to hold the door open for them. If that sounds a little bitter, then it is, but that's only because I just don't get the dichotomy between the two. Basically, me and Justine argue every time she comes and visits because I insist that she sleeps in my room and I sleep on the sofa. Now, I don't think that this is too much to ask, but it kind of irks me that she constantly refuses and insists that she'll take the sofa. It's just one of those things that I guess will never change about our friendship, even though I'll never quite understand it.

Mmmm... pizza.

Sorry. Anyway, one week to go until we hand in, one week until we party like it's 2099, one week until everything that we've spent all three years of university working towards is completed. Kind of scary, isn't it?

KILLING BONO.

Now, I really didn't expect much from this film, and when I was told that Bono himself actually likes this film, I was pretty much ready to write it off, but then when I was in Scotland I got the chance to go see it at the local cinema and I thought 'what the hell, why not'. And man, do I not regret that decision.

This is an utterly charming, music-filled, retrospectively funny and insightful little film. It's about two brothers who want to be rock stars, but the trouble is that they went to school with a bunch of lads that would go on to become U2, the biggest rock band in the world for quite some time.

Another reason for seeing this film is because it features some premier talent, Stanley Townsend was fantastic, Peter Serafinowicz is always a welcome sight, Barnes and Sheenan played off each other just right and it was, of course, the last film to feature the immense, undeniable and sorely missed talents of Pete Postlethwaite. I can't tell you how much I'm going to miss that man. The last lines of his in the film, spoken pretty much directly to the camera, are his true legacy left to his loyal audiance.

I'll admit I misted up.

But other than that, this was a funny, crazy, nostalgic little film about some truly great music and it's worth a watch, definately. I went in not expecting much, but I got more than I wanted from it, so I guess I call it a success. Might have to track down the article it was based off.

Next: Sammy's Adventures
(No, I can't believe I
watched it either)