Tuesday 31 May 2011

Computer "Issues"

So I'm having fun with my power cable right now, it only seems to want to work when shoved into a particular position, at a certain angle, when attached in a certain way, beneath a certain alignment of the stars, it would appear.

You may have noticed that I'm ridiculously behind on my blogging, mainly due to an overwhelming sense of apathy, lethargy and laziness that has overtaken me in the weeks since the end of university. How monumentally uninspiring those have been.

I keep telling myself that I'm going to do things like tidy my house more often and read more books while I'm waiting in thie limbo-like period between finishing uni and moving back to Newbury, which I'm experiancing some difficulty with house hunting.

Ach... sod it.

YOUR HIGHNESS

So I started off not really liking this movie, I felt that it was kind of poking fun at D&D and Fantasy movies in general, which are of course things that are dear to my heart, but as it went on I actually started to enjoy it, realising that in order to poke fun at such things, the people who made this movie actually have to kind of like them in the first place. The weird slacker/stoner humour that runs through this movie has never really been my thing, since it's very American and thus quite crude to elitist, refined British tastes.

Basically, Danny McBride is a waste of time brother to a heroic prince who gets to do all the real questing and monster-slaying for their little kingdom, and gets drawn into a quest to go retrieve his brother's bride to be before a dark sorcerer uses her to fulfil a run-of-the-mill evil prophecy yadda-yadda-yadda and all that jazz. There's a lot left to be desired in this film, but once you've settled into it, I think it works, although it probably could have been a bit shorter (but then I seem to think that about a lot of films these days).

Featuring an awesome cast with Charles Dance, Damien Lewis, Zooey Deschanel (oh, there needs to be more Zooey in our lives), Toby Jones, Natalie Portman (who apparently hasn't had a day off since 2007) and mo-fo'ing James Franco, there's a lot to enjoy in here as well. And Minotaur penis. All about the Minotaur penis.

Next up: THOR
(Oh HELLS Yes!)

Saturday 7 May 2011

Done

Done. Finished. Completed. Finito. Handed in.

Holy Christ, what do I do with my life now?






















A TURTLE'S TALE:
SAMMY'S ADVENTURES.

Honestly? This kind of film is the reason that kids are getting stupider. One of the things that makes me say this is the amount of space between lines of dialogue. It may seem like a little thing, but listen for it in the next film you see, just how much of a pause there is between one actor finishing his line and the next one starting his. Because in good films, there's a fair amount of pausing so that the lines can be considered and digested. In films like this one, it's relayed at you so quickly that you just can't care about what's being said.

(There's an exception to every rule of course and in the case of this rule it's Aaron Sorkin, he can get his guys to talk as fast as he wants.)

This film charts the life of a turtle from hatchling to grandfather (which is voiced by John Hurt, serving as the narrator, he's clearly scraping the bottom of the barrel with films like this). Sammy spends most of his life drifting across the world, looking for his one true love and never really doing anything productive. The film is supposed to educate about the dangers of man contributing to the destruction of the oceans and global warming, but it neatly manages to side-step actually talking about the issues in favour of some poor turtle facial animation.

Basically, if this is the kind of competition that Pixar have to put up with, then they are in absolutely no danger from this quarter. I mean, Dreamworks Animated give them a decent run for their money with stuff like Megamind and How To Train Your Dragon, but this sort of thing is aimed for kids and didn't even entertain all that many of them, from what I saw. I can't quite believe that I saw this film in the end, but here we are, talking about it, using up one of my slots for the month. Could have seen something different. But no, Kren asked me to steward. Sigh.

Next time: YOUR HIGHNESS