Friday 30 April 2010

It's A Funny Month

April is a funny month, or so Ad insists. It's true though, not funny in a good way all the time, most of the time funny in a cynical shitty way. So many break-ups over the last month between various friends and their partners that it's just not funny, as well as a few get-togethers that just seemed strange at first. Still, we're all coping, so it can't have been that bad.

April has been a really odd month in terms of just not really doing anything. We've got this rubbish three week final term after the easter holidays, which always annoys me. It shouldn't be 11-12-3, it should be 9-8-8, so that we don't end up being morons for the final section of our year, because that's what happens.

Mind you, Iron Man 2 did just come out, so I'm a ridiculously happy man. My review of that will be coming soon, I assure you. In the mean time:

THE CRAZIES.

Haven't seen the 70's Romero original, but I can't say as I was surprised at the plot when I heard that this was originally a Romero movie. It's basically a zombie film. Various friends of mine were insisting that it isn't a zombie film because the 'Crazies', those infected with the bizarre experimental weapon that gets dropped on gree-grass/white-picket-fence/small-town US of A, they have some cognitive willpower. Mainly they think of interesting ways to kill people rather than just eat their brains.

However, that's not the technical definition of a zombie and I've had this debate with Dave many, many, many times. Zombies are people devoid of willpower. These infected display cunning, certainly, but they are after one thing and one thing only. To inflict pain and kill. They are devoid of everything else. So yes, they're not technically dead, they're not stupid... but they are zombies in the technical definition of the word.

That said, this movie was FUN.

There's nothing ground-breaking about it, there's no real message other than 'Don't Trust The Government', a message that people stopped caring about roughly thirty-eight seconds after they first heard it. There's very little character development and the acting was wooden in most places.

But this movie was FUN.

Like, really, really FUN.

Any film that thinks Pitchforking people bound to hospital beds is a good idea is alright in my book. The town's on fire, people are running and screaming and carving each other up, there's some seriously tense moments (mainly towards the end, the Gas Station sequence) and the National Guard are scared shiteless.

I do agree with my friends that the military were introduced too early for the story, there could have been some more development before that, but other than that the story was pretty solid. Not in any way original or powerful, but solid enough. It's not a good piece of cinema, but it's a fun watch.

Give it a go.

(Next time: SHUTTER ISLAND)

Saturday 24 April 2010

Quiet Times

Five Day Weekend. Now, there are times in the past where I would have killed for that sort of thing, normally when I'd be working and have to deal with either crack-hungry kids (and by crack I mean Warhammer models) or crack-hungry adults (and by crack I mean Alcohol) at either GW or in any one of the numerous bars I've worked at. Back then a five day weekend would have felt like a crack-fuelled coma of laziness and well-earned crack (and by crack I mean crack).

(I don't do crack)

So aside from just watching Doctor Who for tonight, which has so far been the strongest episode of the series (Time Of Angels) and blew my metaphysical-potentially-crack-filled socks off, I have been up to not very much.

I've applied for two jobs this week, both on Thursday morning and so far haven't heard back from either. I'm going to need work seriously soon or I'm going to be slumming back to Newbury over the summer to hang out at Rios and whine.

Two weeks to go until the end of the University year and then I shall be in my third and final year, a bloody scary concept since it feels like we only started five minutes ago. The ups and downs have been rapid and pretty damn good.

Oh, and Coates has aged. Whippersnapper.

THE LOVELY BONES.

Right... still not sure where I stand with this film. I can't say as I hated it, I can't say as I loved it. I wanted to have some kind of reaction to it, but I don't think that I did. I remember it pretty clearly, but there was nothing that really... stuck. It was all just kinda... vague.

The story, as the book, follows the thoughts of Susie Salmon, before and after her murder at the hands of a man with a suspicious moustache. And just like actual thoughts, the movie is only passingly linear, only a tad in touch with reality and dream-like in a wishy-washy sense.

The acting is reasonably good, but all of the rest are out done by Susan Sarandon, who steals the show relentlessly whenever she's on screen.

The visuals are very, very beautiful. In this age of gimmicks and UTTERLY POINTLESS 3D where film-makers know that having a flashy CGI sequence will draw in the crowds of drooling idiots just waiting to dump their cash on the desk and have their brains dribble out of their ears at the sight of a flying blue talentless hack, it's good to see that Peter Jackson still has a good eye for a good shot that doesn't rely on bloody generated graphics. And by that I mean the sequence in the bedroom, you'll know it.

Overall, I was pretty disappointed with this movie. The dream team was back together, Jackson, Boyens and Walsh all wrote it and they made Lord of the Rings as awesome as it was. But no, it appears they couldn't work that magic again.

Next Time: The Crazies.

Sunday 11 April 2010

All Good Things...

Just finished watching the final season of Prison Break. I remember when I tentatively bought season 1 of Prison Break, back in 2005, thinking that seemed like an odd idea for a series, but would give it a go. I really liked season 1, got on okay with season 2 but found it repetative and had very, very mixed feelings about season 3. Now it's over... well... it's over. Can't say as I'm too broken up about it, nor that I'll miss it all that much, especially since I have all the dvds.

However, it is the first of the big, major, expensive U.S. series that I started gathering to me around 2005 (which includes Lost, Bones, House, Grey's Anatomy and probably a few others) to finish. Lost won't be that far behind it, but they'll all be winding down within a few years. It's a mini golden age for American television, with Prison Break being one of the first to go. Still, it did what it wanted to do.

Robert Knepper needs more work.

THE WOLFMAN.

See, when I heard that Joe Johnston (director of Hidalgo and Honey I Shrunk the freakin' Kids) was working on a remake of The Wolfman, with Benecio Del Toro, Hugo Weaving and SIR Anthony Hopkins... I can only saw HELLS YEAH! to that idea. Alas, the end result was not what I was hoping for.

Coates and I noted it almost immeadiatley, the timing was off. There were plot points being thrown left, right and centre in the first few minutes and tonnes and tonnes of plot exposition was hurled at us and we barely had enough time to form an opinion as to what the hell was going on.

The action was over too quickly, the monster rampages were fun but not overly memorable and the howl was wrong. Now, that last one is probably the most important thing to a werewolf movie, the howl has to be perfect, and nobody has ever bloody realised it. The howl is what seperates the wolf from the man. That's the simplest thing and so few get it right.

The only real saving grace of the movie is Hugo Weaving's 'Pint of bitter, please.' Scene, which gives us a great deal of satisfaction to watch.

It's not bad, but it's not good either. It's not really worth a watch, but go for it if you want too. I was immensely disappointed by it.

(Next time: The Lovely Bones)

Tuesday 6 April 2010

Not the best of moods

Must admit to feeling pretty hateful the last few hours, so I have no idea what possessed me to write a blog post. I mean, all I'd be doing is bitching about how the world sucks and we need to press that big red button that'll make the nukes fly... and there was me about to get started. But I'll tell you what I will bitch about, 'smart' shoes.

I got an email from my boss asking me to do various shifts coming up when I'm in Newbury, which is cool enough and there's a bit about the uniform. We now don't have to wear official bar logo shirts, but if we've got them then feel free, but now we have to wear black shoes. 'Smart' black shoes. I don't own any 'smart' black shoes, so I have to buy some.

Now... why the HELL do I have to wear 'smart' black shoes?! I'm a FRIGGIN' BARMAN. We pour drinks and make banter. We spend a lot of time on our feet.

If you're wondering why I refuse to type the word 'smart' without the 's, it's because what is considered smart by the majority is OPINION, not FACT.

FACTS: 'Smart' black shoes are expensive. More expensive that trainers or walking boots, which is what I normally wear. They have a lifespan appoximately a third of either aforementioned type of footwear and are primarily designed for appearance, not for comfort.

OPINION: I think they look retarded. Most disagree.

I have ridiculous amounts of complaints against any kind of percieved 'smart' clothing as well. I wouldn't be caught dead in a suit, I'd use ties to wipe my arse with because they're utterly worthless as an item of clothing and anyone who pays twice the price of an ordinary shirt to have a label with some prick's name on it is a MORON. Now I'm on a rant. See what you made me do? Gargh.

And don't think I'm being biased towards the 'smart' people either. All piercings need to go away and die somewhere, apart from possibly ears, we're just used to them being socially acceptable. Tattoos need to be seriously considered before being applied to flesh and I DESPISE those stupid Celtic knots or Oriental writing that means utterly NOTHING. Why the hell should I wear band t-shirts? What have that band done for me lately? Eugh. That's enough for now.

UP IN THE AIR.

Brilliant. Bloody Brilliant. My mother found the ending to be rather bleak, but then she hasn't seen The Road. It's a story of a man who wants, not needs, to change the way he lives, just a little. He's a closed off man, determined to live his life the way he wants to, with no real responsibility and no commitments to tie him down. Then one day, he figures that he should start doing things differently. And just maybe, it might not work out.

Clooney hasn't always been my favourite actor, but he did damn well at this one. I felt a certain kinship with the character that I rarely notice in others. He doesn't want to get married, he doesn't want kids, he's happy just cruising through life and he seems to take an almost cynical enjoyment in explaining that to people. But he changes, in a way that suits him. One small step at a time, just what you can manage.

See, I've barely talked about the movie itself, I liked it so much. See it. I have to admit I leapt up and down for joy when I heard that Rietman (of Juno and even better Thank You For Smoking) had a new film out and I went to see it as soon as possible. Oh hells was that worth it.

See it.

Seen it yet?

Then why are you still here?!

(Next time: The Wolfman)