Sunday 24 July 2011

What Next?

I sometimes do find myself wondering that. I've complete my degree and I'm back working at the same two jobs that I was working at before I left (although I should point out I'm grateful to have two jobs in a time of recession). Oh sure, some of the hours are different and one of them has a new owner, but it's the same thing that I was doing three years ago and it's probably gonna be the same thing that I'll be doing three years from now.

I don't want to sound down or pessimistic when I say this, I'm not actually in a bad mood, but I do wonder what I just spent those three years on and what I'm supposed to get out of it. Obviously I gained a selection of new friends, some more firm than others and some not the ones I thought I'd end up with. I've got my own property, but it's being inhabited by three friends of mine while I live in an overpriced rat-trap in Newbury.

My gaming group is stopping and starting, now that I'm back here I thought the one advantage would be that my role-players would be waiting for me, but it turns out they haven't really been gaming since I left, just waiting for me to run stuff when I came back on sporadic weekends. So I'm gonna have to pull them back together and it may take a sacrifice or two in order to get a decent once-a-week group, because anything less is just unfulfilling.

Ach... kind of ticking over at the moment, life is just life, waiting for it to be something else.

TRANSFORMERS 3:
DARK OF THE MOON

You know what? No. No more. No more benefit of the doubt, no more seeing that Orci and Kurtzman aren't on the writing list so it may be worth it, no more trusting that the heroes of my childhood won't turn around and stab me in the kidneys because they need a new swimming pool for their fourth house. Transformers 3 is a prime example of how the people that pay to see it deserve to have lost their money because if you haven't learned from the last two unbelievable shitheaps then you sure as shit deserve ripping off now. Doesn't matter how much a ticket costs, if you're willing to pay it, the more fool you.

No, it's not better than the second one (which people seem to keep insisting it is), it's just as bad as the second one. No, it's not got great special effects, because all the special effects and CGI in the world can't save a movie like this from being the utter mind-degrading bullshit that it is. There is absolutely no excuse for this kind of movie, even if there are mindless drooling fanboys out there that will pay through the nose to see one giant, blurry, non-descript robot fight another blurry, non-descript robot in the background of Shia LeWhyTheFuckDoYouStillBreathe trying to decide if he's gonna grow a pair.

The absolute worst thing about this film (which is some achievement to be worse than the plot, the acting, the effects, the general feeling of excrement being scraped into your skin that this film instills) is just how many good, honest, decent, hard-working and in the past reliably good actors are in it. Alan Tudyk's in this film. Frances McDormand's in this film. Mother-Fucking John Malkovitch is in this film. And they all play douchebags. And I mean SERIOUS DOUCHEBAGS. The only human character you can actually sympathise with in this film is frickin' Patrick 'McDreamy' Dempsey because he's working with the bad guys.

Why is that sympathising? Because if I lived in a world with THIS MANY TOTAL DOUCHEBAGS then I would want to sell it out to evil robots from outerspace that want to enslave them all as well.

So, the plot, if you can call it that. Sam WitWanky has changed girlfriends to an even less talented actress and is insecure about his future because he's realised that he's a poorly characterised idiot who will never go anywhere. His parents turn up and are douches. His new boss is a douche. He is a douche. The Autobots are off doing some mission or another and then it turns out there's this conspiricy regarding the Cybertronians already having visited Earth in the past and the Apollo mission was a ruse to get to them and wasn't this the 'plot' for the first film or something blah blah blah blah.... blaaaahhhh....

Then Leonard Nimoy shows up and actually dares to rip off his own lines from Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan (which he does and he is now dead to me). That pretty much sums up that entire film.

This film is an insult to movie-fans, to sensible human beings, to the vast majority of the world that aren't douchebags and just to decent writing and directing. A hundred thousand decent writers and directors that haven't been discovered yet cry themselves to sleep every time someone puts shit like thin on their DVD player. Every time someone buys a cinema ticket to this, a would be hard-worker get to keep their job at McDonalds. Maybe I'm being too bitter about this, but rest assured that there's no way I'm being too hard on this movie. May it rot in the filth of it's hideousness for all the time it deserves.

Next time: Green Lantern.

Sunday 17 July 2011

And The Results Are In

I've completed my degree, got my results and I'm now free to go fuck up my life in whatever manner I so choose. There's limitless options and choices ahead of me, none of which are actually open to me, and I'm left dazed and confused as to what to do next with my life, but I'm sure you're all sick of hearing me talk about that now, aren't you.

I can't say as I'm massively thrilled with my results, as always it seems that my treatments and ideas actually get higher marks than my actual scripts, apparently I can talk the talk, but not really walk the walk. Overall, I got a 2:1 for my degree. There's apparently no exact number percentage that I can find to go with that, but it don't matter.

As for my Major Script, I think I could have done better. I got 61%, which is a 2:1 for that individual unit, but it's barely a 2:1. Don't get me wrong, it's what I was expecting, but I really think that my final alterations at the last minute were an improvement on the script as a whole. Well, it's said and done now, maybe I'll get a chance to talk with Mike about it at some point, mainly because I just want to know if I shouldn't have gone with this idea in the first place. But then how can you not go with something that's as close to your heart as my project was for me?

As for the rest, it doesn't bother me. My marketing portfolio didn't do well, but then who gives a crap about that, and my reflective log did completely average, and again, who gives a crap about that. It's all down to the big one, and I can't help but feel that I messed it up in some way. If a 2:1 can be called messing up. Ah well, back to pouring pints and flipping burgers.

SENNA

Easily film of the year. I know it's a documentary, I know that it's reconstructed footage from races and interviews, I know that some may not call it a 'real' film because of this... but it's the film that so far this year I have experianced the most emotional reaction too. That's right, I shed a tear when I watched this film. The story of this man's life is both an exhilirating and enthralling one, a tragic and inspiring one in every second. I was totally taken in by this simple story about the little boy from Brazil that could and that is a very, very hard thing for a film to do.

I knew a little about Ayrton Senna before I went to see this film, but knew that my dad was a big Formula 1 fan, so took him to see this film just after Father's Day and my God was it incredible. So many times you think that real life can't really resemble the fiction we've grown up with, but this story certainly can. The little hero that could, his arch-rival, the tyranny of the overlord, the adrenaline of the race, the overcoming of antagonism and the redemption of long-lost friendships. The differences alone between how Senna and Prost drove are worty of immortalising.

I can't say any more about this film, because it just chokes me up thinking about it. I cannot recommend it highly enough. This will easily be in the top 5 of my films of the year and unless something truly mind-blowing comes along, it'll probably be at the top of that list.

Next: The unspeakable filth of Michael Bay

Sunday 10 July 2011

Ah Newbury... How I've Missed Ye...

Well, I've been a resident of Newbury once again for about a week now and... well... it's still Newbury. Nothing much has changed. It's not as big and varied as Southampton, but I know almost everyone and I've got two jobs here and... well... it's still Newbury. I still have nerdy friends, two jobs and more free time than I can shake a stick at. I'm currently living in the bedroom of one of my friends, while he's off running a pub in Whitchurh (Hampshire, not Shropshire), so I'm kinda living amongst his stuff.

It's cool though, I was mates with his housemates long before I moved in here and I'd even stayed here on occasion in the past. I'm currently looking to move away again sometime next year, but the right opportunity may present itself to go before that. We'll see, in the end. As it stands, I've got the Corn Exchange and Rios to tide me over, I've got my gaming friends and I've got a new kareoke night every week, although those last two seem to be in competition for the same night of the week. I'm sure it'll all work out somehow.

That's it, really. I'm back, I'm here, I'm entrenched, because in a weird way it feels like I never really left and at the same time, it's like it's a whole new place.

PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN:
ON STRANGER TIDES

Now this? This sucked. I mean, it's a real shame to see the results of this particular endevour, seeing as how much I loved the first Pirates film. But the magic is most certainly gone, isn't it, Mr. Depp? So Cap'n Jack is on the way to find the magic mcguffin he was whinging about at the end of the last film (couldn't they have thought up something else?) and the usual assortment of rivals are after it too. Barbossa's back as a British Commodore, but he gets far too little screen time and he's not as fun as he used to be, back in the first film.

You see, the main problem with the Pirates films is that people seem to think that Captain Jack is the main character. He ain't, he ain't by a long shot, or at least he shouldn't be. Jack is a comedy sidekick, that's about it. In the first movie, plucky Will Turner was our main protagonist, who had all the personal growth and story arc to go through, while Jack gets to arse about in a comedy manner over his shoulder. In the second and third films, Jack and Will seemed to be about level-pegging, with Will winning out in the end due to his act of self-sacrifice.

But now? Now there's no main character for Jack to be a foil too. He's in the limelight and we begin to realise that there just isn't enough to him as a character to hold up the movie. Add to that the pointless zombies, the bored Spanish, the questionable use of Blackbeard, the irritating sub-plot of a priest falling in love with a mermaid and... well... the result is pretty much null and void. There's nothing really in this movie, it's two and a half hours of being reminded that the best days of the Carribean are far behind us. Damnit, and I was looking forward to it as well.

Next up: SENNA.

Sunday 3 July 2011

Damnit, Missed One

There should have been a blog post for the 30th, but I'm a bit rubbish and didn't get round to starting it at the right time. As my regular readers may well know, I'm a terrible one with my retentive sticking to lists, schedules, formulas and plans. Well, I try to stick to them somehow. Since I was aiming at doing 5 of these a month, I was trying to post one evey week on the last chance I have of 5 days in a row of a month.

That doesn't make any sense, does it?

Look on your calender for July. The right-most day that still has five occurences in the month is Sunday in July, hence why I'm trying to write these on a Sunday. In August it'll be Wednesdays. Just keeps it all working on a different day each month, but then that's because I like to make things slightly more ridiculous for myself. Why do people even talk to me? It makes me question, sometimes, it really does.

I'll try to be less retentive in the future.

Who am I kidding? I'm only gonna get worse.

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS.

You know, at first viewing, I didn't really get on with this movie. It was far too remeniscent of Connery-era James Bond (which is one of my particular dislikes), there were far too many characters for me to care about most of them (the normal failing for an X-Men movie or comic) and I felt that the villain of the piece was a rather weak offering.

On relfection, I'm willing to reconsider overall opinion, it's by no means a bad movie, but I stand by my particular weaknesses, as they're still prevelant. So I'll start with them. Bond. A lot of people like Bond, I... I don't anymore. When I was a kid, I suppose I did like Bond movies, but I think I most certainly grew out of them a decade ago.

That being said, I still think there are three good ones, see if you can guess what they are.

As for characters, it's not neccessarily the amount of them, it's the amount of disbelief I'm supposed to suspend. So one guy can shoot subsonic waves, one guy 'evolves to survive', one guy thows power-ring blasts, one guy that's Nightcrawler but red (cop-out) and one girl that grows wings and... serves no other point in the movie really? My problem with X-Men as a franchise has always been the utter cop-out writing that is 'they're mutants'. Mutants? The next stage of human evolution? Bollocks. I mean, really, bollocks. Even by super-hero standards, that's just poor. Humans are going to start shooting red laser beams out of their eyes and gain the sudden power to control the weather? Ahm... no. Just no. So that's the real problem with having too many characters in this kind of film, Xavier and Magneto are one thing (both are well characterised and their abilities make up for their unbelievability by being really cool), but Riptide, Banshee and Emma Frost? Nah, I'm good thanks.

Notable exception to this are Mystique and Beast (most likely saved from my condemnation by the outsanding performances by Jennifer Lawrence and Nicholas Hoult), who add a fair amount of soul and compassion to the film, especially Beast's transformation. So those four (and Oliver Platt) are worth watching the film for, that's for certain.

However, Kevin Bacon's Sebastian Shaw most certainly isn't. He very much phoned this one in and the massively disappointing plot behind his grand scheme is exactly the same as Magneto's always has been, degrading both characters by association. His team (Azezal not included, not that Americans can pronounce his name right) were pretty weak as well.

So... how do I feel about this film? Since X-Men seems to be a shaky franchise all in all?

I'd recommend giving it a watch, but don't be surprised if it lets you down, as far as I'm concerned. There's at least two genius cameos worth watching out for, as well as some great performances, but there are some pretty crap ones as well, so don't say that I didn't warn you. Not that you listen to me, I mean, why should you? Everyone else liked it.

Next up: PIRATES 4.