Humbug!!

It should come to no great surprise to those who know me to find that I'm not a great fan of Christmas, I mentioned as much last year in my New Decade post. I don't like the hype, I don't like the music, I don't like the decorations, I don't like the commercialisation of it all. As I once said in a Werewolf Cam game 'As you enter the Spirit World, you can see the Spirit of Money and the Spirit of Greed beating the shit out of the Spirit of Christmas in the background'.

I know that doesn't mean much to you, but if you're a Werewolf: The Forsaken player, then that was pretty hilarious.

Well, I liked it.

Christmas is supposed to be about family, about charity and about the spirity of generosity and companionship. To me, personally, Christmas is the only day of the year where you say 'Merry Christmas' to everyone you pass on the street. It should be the one day where you acknowledge your neighbours and your friends and all that. It should be the time of year where you find a little extra to give to charity somewhere. No, it's about money, greed, fuckin' irritating songs and X-Factor.

So a very merry Bah Humbug, Let It Snow, because that's the best thing about this time of year nowadays.

I'll stop my rant now.

In other news, DecemBEARD is progressing well, the majestic ginger monstrosity is taking over my face.

Also, I'm in Scotland with my family. I'll talk about that some other time, I feel. On with the review:

MONSTERS.

Now this is a film of which I have mixed opinions. I am definately in support of movies such as this one. I like the idea of odd, quirky, off-beat science fiction that's produced on a tight budget and actually tries to talk about things, the various issues faced by our world today. The best way to do this, when working on a tight budget, is of course to focus on character and make the most of your actors.

But perhaps not when your actors are Scoot McNairy and Whitney Able. Oh yes, you read that right. Someone chose their screen name to be 'Scoot'. 'Scoot'.

Really? Scoot?!

So Scoot is a photographer and Able is his publisher's daughter and she's in Mexico (for undisclosed reasons) and he's trying to get some photos...

Oh yeah, there are giant space ocotopi. Well, okay celaphodi. Or whatever the latin term is. They landed in Mexico and it's now going funky...

Basically it boils down to our two plucky leads scampering across what is known as the 'Infected Zone' between the States and Mexico (guess what, the US built a massive wall! Hmmm, subtle!), trying to get home. There's a fair amount of talk about the history of this 'Infected Zone' and there's a fair amount of bonding between said plucky leads as they make their journey amidst various dangers and cool visual sequences.

I'd just like to say that the visuals of this movie are what it's all about. The shots of broken military equipment in the jungle, the overgrown ships, the ruins...

Well, I love a good broken thing, so it appears very beautiful to me, although not as hauntingly powerful as The Road. Even so, it gets the job done in that regard.

The only problem is Scoot. And Able. They suck. They're very, very poor actors and it really shows. The film relies on their (apparantly) improvised performances and I think that the director (who did a massive amount of work visually for this movie) could have done a lot better than these two. They had the worst onscreen chemistry I'd seen in a while, which is odd, since they ended up getting married not long after.

The film relies on them and they are found wanting, I'm afraid. Visually, it's great. In reality, you can't rely on visuals to carry it. It's a swing and a miss.

Which is a shame, really it is. I like this kind of movie, this is the kind of movie I want to be seeing in the future, following in the red-hot footsteps of District 9. But not every unknown can be Sharlto Copely and not every visual guy with a camera can be Neil Blomkamp. Better luck next time, hope you keep on truckin' Gareth Edwards, because they won't all be as bad as this one. Will look forwards to your next film.

Next up: The Chronicles of Naria;
The Voyage of the Dawn
Treader (and Narnia in
general, I guess).