Reverting To Previous Behaviour

You know, I had thought recently that it might have been possible for me to change. To become a slightly different person, whether that would be a better person, I don't know, but it would have been different and that was kind of exciting in its own right. I thought that I might have been able to be in a relationship and actually see what it is people do this thing for.

Turns out, that's not for me. Do I blame myself? Yeah, kinda. Do I blame her? That's the bigger question. I sent a text message that I know I should not have back in August, made a joke about lubricant and that was that. I had a girlfriend. We were happy together. We bitched and moaned and got on each other's nerves from time to time, but I at least thought I was happy for this.

Then on January 2nd she said that we should be 'just friends', because our goals are too different. And I accepted that at the time and thought 'well... maybe that could work as well.' But you know what? I always had a thought that when women say 'let's be friends' after a relationship has ended, they're forgetting what gender it is they are dealing with here.

Men aren't like that.

Once you're gone, that's it, you're gone. Staying friends with an ex is basically inviting trouble, heart-ache and jealousy all at the same time. Take this weekend for example. I really wanted to come down and see her for her 30th birthday, it's only been six weeks since we broke up and I was still holding that torch, I'll admit. So I went down to Brighton to see Laura and Martin (which was great, but another blog post all together), and then me and Laura went over to Worthing for the ageing celebration.

Now, to discover that the ugly, uninteresting circus oaf that was so utterly dull to hang around with (as most magicians are, all they can really think about is how awesome they are) that she was last seen in the presence of is now her most recently acquired man-friend... this kinda stung. Sleeping in the room next to the pair of them in the aftermath of the party... that was something else entirely. I packed up and left before everyone woke up. Why did I do this? Why did I act like a jealous coward?

Because I am a jealous coward. And that's something I've got to live with. Something I don't have to live with? The woman I love shacking up with Captain Spaulding from House of 1,000 frickin' Corpses while still being 'friends' with her.

So I'm reverting to previous behaviour. I'm giving up on being that different person. I'm not that person, I'm the person I was before I met her. And that's all I have to say, because I never want to touch, see or talk to her again.

CHRONICLE

Hells. Frickin'. Yes. I've been waiting for a movie like this for a long time and, quite frankly, it's been worth the wait. Someone who truly understands what a super-hero movie can be without the capes, the spandex and the overblown sense of Truth, Justice and the American Way. This is just people who probably shouldn't have these powers, slowly figuring out who they really are.

I loved this movie, there were a few flaws, but I'm really not going to let them get in the way of it. Some of the characters weren't really all that fleshed out, nor were they brilliantly acted, but at the same time, the story itself was just so powerful, compelling and detailed that none of that matters. Genuinely the best use of telekenisis that you will ever see, ever.

Highly recommended, go see it. Really hope Max Landis gets to make some more, or something else, because this really shows that he grew up with all this stuff (as he did) and took away all the right lessons from it.

Next review: The Descendants